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Life Quotes by Steven Wright
- Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and…
- I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
- I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
- I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
- Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
- I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- Real life? Well, I just hope mine isn't investigated. They might find that I don't really exist - that I'm just a hologram.
- To me, comedy is just twisting reality. It's commenting or observing or twisting life.
- I'm standing behind a wall of jokes. You don't know about my personal life, my girlfriends, or what I do when I'm not on the…
- I don't go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it's contrived and forced. I just live my life, and I…
- Comedians are sociologists. We're pointing out stuff that the general public doesn't even stop to think about, looking at life in slow-motion and questioning everything…
- You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and…
- I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
- Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
- If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
- Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took…
- I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
- I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
- The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
More Life Quotes
- Sometimes I think that life would be how much easier if we don't have heart. Because it is the heart which puts… — Anurag Prakash Ray
- Whenever my pocket money fall short. I start to think my life sucks. Then I think about all those out there who… — Anurag Prakash Ray
- Be Honest, be confident, be nice, be determined, be real. Than you can be everything in your life. — Anurag Prakash Ray
- Most important thing in life is to keep moving irrespective of the facts that you r hurt u r broken or betrayed… — Anurag Prakash Ray
- I don't know I really love u or not. But whenever I think about my life without u it kills me. Whenever… — Anurag Prakash Ray
- Wise people, even though all laws were abolished, would still lead the same life. — Aristophanes
- Storytelling reveals meaning without committing the error of defining it. — Hannah Arendt
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle