« All Funny Quotes · Andy Borowitz's Page
Funny Quotes by Andy Borowitz
- The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.
- Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.
- Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to…
- I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.
- Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.
- Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions.
- Twitter is currently valued at $8 billion, or $1 for every hour it has wasted.
More Funny Quotes
- We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
- I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams
- Age appears to be best in four things; old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and… — Francis Bacon
- I find a lot of things kind of funny and I often say what's on my mind, and then get nine texts… — Kate Beckinsale
- To be free in an age like ours, one must be in a position of authority. That in itself would be enough… — Hannah Arendt
- There's nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it. — Billie Joe Armstrong