« All Christmas Quotes · Andy Borowitz's Page
Christmas Quotes by Andy Borowitz
- Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.
- Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.
- Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday.
- As popular as Christmas is, it would be even bigger if it had vampires.
- You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives.
- Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a "religious" meaning.
More Christmas Quotes
- The earth has grown old with its burden of care, but at Christmas it always is young, the heart of the jewel… — Phillips Brooks
- I'm sure most of us remember being a kid and you have all of this endless time where two weeks before Christmas… — Andrea Arnold
- For it is in giving that we receive. — Francis of Assisi
- My family makes these vinegars - out of everything from grapes to peaches and cherries. We go through the whole process with… — Mario Batali
- In the United States Christmas has become the rape of an idea. — Richard Bach
- There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. — Erma Bombeck
- You can't allow the forces of political correction to shut you up. I mean, why are people afraid to say, 'Merry Christmas?'… — Benjamin Carson
- It goes Christmas, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day. Is that fair to anyone who's alone? These are all days you gotta be… — Laura Kightlinger