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Find Quotes by Jack Handey
- Sometimes when I'm driving behind a big cement truck, I think of how the valve on the truck could suddenly open, spilling cement over my…
- Just because swans mate for life, I don't think its that big a deal. First of all, if you're a swan, you're probably not going…
- Whether they ever find life there or not, I think Jupiter should be considered an enemy planet.
- When this girl at the museum asked me who I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise." She just stared at me,…
- I bet if you were a mummy wrapper in ancient Egypt, on thing you would constantly find yourself telling people would be, "Be sure, before…
- I hope they never find out that lightning has a lot of vitamins in it, because do you hide from it or not?
- I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but…
- If the captain invited me to his party, after he had whipped me earlier in the day, up on deck, I guess I'd go, but…
- I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat". It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you…
More Find Quotes
- I find that it's hard to fully examine one's life and not have faith be part of the discussion. — J. J. Abrams
- Thou wilt find rest from vain fancies if thou doest every act in life as though it were thy last. — Aristotle
- Minority is about being an individual. It's like you have to sift through the darkness to find your place and be that… — Billie Joe Armstrong
- In every song I write, whether it's a love song or a political song or a song about family, the one thing… — Billie Joe Armstrong
- I was a lousy nun. I couldn't do it. I couldn't find God. It wasn't suitable for me. It is suitable for… — Karen Armstrong
- We all do 'do, re, mi,' but you have got to find the other notes yourself. — Louis Armstrong
- For every failure, there's an alternative course of action. You just have to find it. When you come to a roadblock, take… — Mary Kay Ash
- People say that if you find water rising up to your ankle, that's the time to do something about it, not when… — Chinua Achebe
- Apart from anything else, I am designed by evolution, like we all are: if we see a little thing like that, big… — David Attenborough
- I don't think we are going to become extinct. We're very clever and extremely resourceful - and we will find ways of… — David Attenborough
- The most extraordinary thing about trying to piece together the missing links in the evolutionary story is that when you do find… — David Attenborough
- Myths can't be translated as they did in their ancient soil. We can only find our own meaning in our own time. — Margaret Atwood