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Every Fifteen Quotes by Dave Barry
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Dave Barry has 529 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:
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Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
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Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
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Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
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Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
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The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of…
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'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.
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The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant…
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We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it…
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The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
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The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
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Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there…
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Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
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More Every Fifteen Quotes
Popular Every Fifteen quotes from across the collection:
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The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.
— Lenny Bruce
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Love means having to say you're sorry every fifteen minutes.
— John Lennon
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One does not think during creative work, any more than one thinks when driving a car. But one has a background of…
— Edward Weston
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How can you put out a meaningful drama when every fifteen minutes proceedings are interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits with toilet paper?…
— Rod Serling
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How can you put on a meaningful drama when, every fifteen minutes, proceedings are interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits with toilet paper?
— Rod Serling
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Japan has a low crime rate, unless you count the fact that approximately every fifteen minutes the entire Cabinet gets indicted for…
— Dave Barry
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There was Tyson moving into the Poseidon cabin, giggling to himself every fifteen seconds and saying, "Percy is my brother?" like he'd…
— Rick Riordan
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But what I can do is paint you a picture of what you’ll never see when you’re with a guy who’s really…
— Greg Behrendt
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I suspect that most authors don't really want criticism, not even constructive criticism. They want straight-out, unabashed, unashamed, fulsome, informed, naked praise,…
— Neil Gaiman
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