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Eat Quotes by Jack Handey
- I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived in a cave and because…
- If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me and I could fly down…
- MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the car - I forget what…
- I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy brows." Then they would get…
- My young son asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our…
- I think somebody should come up with a way to breed a very large shrimp. That way, you could ride him, then after you camped…
- When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a…
- It makes me mad when I go to all the trouble of having Martha cook up about a hundred drumsticks, the the guy at the…
- I wish scientists would come up with a way to make dogs a lot bigger, but with a smaller head. That way, they'd still be…
More Eat Quotes
- What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them,… — Dave Attell
- I'm a mad Gummi fan. I always have Gummis in my trailer. But you can't eat too many because then you get… — Jensen Ackles
- I don't have any particular thing I do ritualistically. I do the same thing every day. I get up. Drink a lot… — Erykah Badu
- The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. — Lucille Ball
- I love food and feel that it is something that should be enjoyed. I eat whatever I want. I just don't overeat. — Tyra Banks
- In the hospital, I promised myself that I ever walked again, that I would eat well and swim every day. — Travis Barker
- I eat cheese and salami and a lot of fried chicken. I eat a big bag of oatmeal-raisin cookies every night and… — Ellen Barkin
- Since I had my gastric bypass surgery in 1998, I eat like a bird. Unfortunately, that bird is a California condor. — Roseanne Barr
- I'm a farmer now, and it's fantastic. My goal is to be totally self-sufficient and grow everything that I eat. There's something… — Roseanne Barr
- I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable. — Todd Barry
- I've been a vegetarian for years and years. I'm not judgemental about others who aren't, I just feel I cannot eat or… — Drew Barrymore
- I don't drink milk, and I don't eat bread, pasta or rice. But I eat a lot of meat, chicken, fish and… — Mikhail Baryshnikov