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Down Quotes by Jack Handey
- If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me and I could fly down…
- If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down.
- One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him…
- Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring…
- The wise man can pick up a grain of sand and envision a whole universe. But the stupid man will just lay down on some…
- If you're robbing a bank and your pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh, and let your hostages laugh too, because come on…
- I think the best Thanksgiving we ever had was one where we didn't even have a turkey. Mom and Dad sat us kids down and…
- I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in…
- Most of the time it was probably real bad being stuck down in a dungeon. But some days, when there was a bad storm outside,…
- There are many stages to a man's life. In the first stage, he is young and eager, like a beaver. In the second stage, he…
- A man doesn't automatically get my respect. He has to get down in the dirt and beg for it.
- I'd like to see a nature film where an eagle swoops down and pulls a fish out of a lake, and then maybe he's flying…
- If you ever feel like you're on the verge of a nervous breakdown, just follow these simple rules: First, calm down; second, come over and…
- I wish I could shrink down to the size of an ant. And maybe there would be thousands of other people shrunken down to ant-size,…
- I wish there was a disease where you're afraid of clouds, because I think I could cure it. First, you sit the patient down and…
- If life deals you lemons, why not go kill somone with the lemons (maybe by shoving them down his throat)?
- During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not putting on your armor because you were "just going down to the corner."
- The tired and thirsty prospector threw himself down at the edge of the watering hole and started to drink. But then he looked around and…
- Why is it that we will laugh at a man in a clown outfit, but we won't laugh at a man just walking down the…
- I remember we were all horrified to see Grandpa up on the roof with his Superman cape on. "Get down!" yelled Uncle Lou. "Don't move!"…
More Down Quotes
- Dreams are what keep us going when real life lets us down. — Nishan Panwar
- Do Not Store Dreams In Your Eyes, They May Roll Down With Tears, Store Them In Ur Heart, Each Heart Beat Will… — Ritu Ghatourey
- The parents have to learn that the child should not be insulted, humiliated, condemned. If you want to help him, love him… — Rajneesh
- Whoever is trying to bring you down is already beneath you. — Nishan Panwar
- I want to tell you my heart is filled with things to say when you are here. All those words they seem… — Superman
- I t Is Easy To Find A Reason To Be Sad, But It Is Much Harder To Find A Reason To Be… — Ritu Ghatourey
- I used too be the girl that would be soo happy to walk into the classroom and say'guess who just walked in… — Jasmine
- Its better to cry then to be angry. As anger hurt others. Whereas when we cry no one gets hurt. And crying… — Anurag Prakash Ray