Bowling Quotes by Jack Handey

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• There's kind of a Zen aspect to bowling. The pins are either staying up or down before you even throw your arm… — Jeff Bridges
• I'm happy when I'm juggling, but I feel like I've gone from, like, 3 balls to 10 bowling balls. But, that's a… — Kirstie Alley
• Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends… — George Carlin
• What's society going to be like when the kids today are phenomenally good at text messaging and spend a huge amount of… — Clifford Stoll
• All that proves is that most of the world is too poor to build bowling alleys, golf courses, tennis courts and baseball… — Mike Royko
• In the Bowling Alley of Tomorrow, there will even be machines that wear rental shoes and throw the ball for you. Your… — Dave Barry
• A rough should have high grass. When you go bowling they don't give you anything for landing in the gutter, do they? — Lee Trevino
• A run is more difficult to make than no save, because batting is in its nature a far less certain and reliable… — Unknown Author
• Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no known way to kill it that does not involve… — Dave Barry
• And you call yourselves a bowling alley? — Woody Harrelson
• Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules. — John Goodman
• It would be hilarious if I worked in a bowling alley. — Aubrey Plaza

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