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Best Quotes by Jack Handey
- I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived in a cave and because…
- Sometimes when I'm driving behind a big cement truck, I think of how the valve on the truck could suddenly open, spilling cement over my…
- I think the best Thanksgiving we ever had was one where we didn't even have a turkey. Mom and Dad sat us kids down and…
- If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact.
- When I was a child, there were times when we had to entertain ourselves. And usually the best way to do that was to turn…
- One question that's never been answered to my satisfaction by the "Playboy Advisor" is "What kind of stereo system works best in hell?"
- Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
More Best Quotes
- This is the precept by which I have lived: Prepare for the worst; expect the best; and take what comes. — Hannah Arendt
- Where all are guilty, no one is; confessions of collective guilt are the best possible safeguard against the discovery of culprits, and… — Hannah Arendt
- When you care about human beings, you do your best to not repress and to not let people to repress and to… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- As we all know, many people remain buried under tons of rubble and debris, waiting to be rescued. When we think of… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Hope is a waking dream. — Aristotle
- My best friend is the man who in wishing me well wishes it for my sake. — Aristotle
- At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. — Aristotle
- The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances. — Aristotle
- It is best to rise from life as from a banquet, neither thirsty nor drunken. — Aristotle
- Those who excel in virtue have the best right of all to rebel, but then they are of all men the least… — Aristotle
- Education is the best provision for old age. — Aristotle
- If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when… — Aristotle