"One question that's never been answered to my……" — Jack Handey
"One question that's never been answered to my satisfaction by the "Playboy Advisor" is "What kind of stereo system works best in hell?""
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Jack Handey
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397 Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
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People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
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Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
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MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
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I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »
More Advisor Quotes
This quote is filed under Advisor Quotes,
one of 50 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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I never dreamed I would want to be or become a financial advisor,
— Willie Aames
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Are you a devious, plotting, unreliable madman? Ah, good, then you can be my most trusted advisor.
— Terry Pratchett
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Want to hear a sad story about the Dukakis campaign? The governor of Massachusetts, he lost his top naval advisor…
— Dan Quayle
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My wife has been my closest friend, my closest advisor. And ... she's not somebody who looks to the limelight,…
— Barack Obama
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Well, I've been in several films including documentaries, but the big blockbuster, I was hired as advisor to the actors,…
— Daniel Berrigan
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My father was also a principal of a school and mother was a curriculum advisor. Both were educators.
— Edwin Moses
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If you don't like the idea that most of the money spent on lottery tickets supports government programs, you should…
— Robert Kiyosaki
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When you give up the hope that some advisor, some system, some source of inside tips is going to give…
— Harry Browne
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George Clooney married Amal Alamuddin this year. Amal is a human rights lawyer who worked on the Enron case, was…
— Tina Fey
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Steve Jobs was a great friend as well as a trusted advisor. His legacy will extend far beyond the products…
— Bob Iger
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As a long-time British Airways advisor, I have seen first-hand that as a company they are committed to innovation, entrepreneurship…
— Rhonda Abrams
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One of the chief duties of the mathematician in acting as an advisor ... is to discourage ... from expecting…
— Norbert Wiener
See all 50 Advisor Quotes »