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Baby Quotes by Jack Handey
- I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fisherman caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they…
- What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid-gold baby? Maybe we'll never know.
- If you want to sue somebody, just get a little plastic skeleton and lay it in their yard. Then tell them their ants ate your…
- I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat". It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you…
- A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to…
More Baby Quotes
- Apart from anything else, I am designed by evolution, like we all are: if we see a little thing like that, big… — David Attenborough
- A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. — Enid Bagnold
- There is a 'sanctity' involved with bringing a child into this world: it is better than bombing one out of it. — James A. Baldwin
- I talked about adopting a baby when I was 20 years old, before it became 'hip.' — Tyra Banks
- It's not like I want to hop on a bandwagon, because I said it 15 years ago - bringing a child into… — Tyra Banks
- It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes… — Dave Barry
- If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should -… — Dave Barry
- I feel like some of my baby fat is going away, and that's not just physically, it's psychologically. I think that your… — Drew Barrymore
- There is no dream of love, however ideal it may be, which does not end up with a fat, greedy baby hanging… — Charles Baudelaire
- I have no TV, thank God. I haven't heard anything about Tom Cruise, except that he had a baby, I think. — Emmanuelle Beart
- If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? — Milton Berle
- Having a baby takes so much from you. It's the most glorious thing you'll ever do, but the aftermath is not so… — Halle Berry