« All Arms Quotes · Jack Handey's Page
Arms Quotes by Jack Handey
- Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy's arm behind his back.…
- Here's a good joke to do during an earthquake: straddle a big crack in the ground, and if it opened wider, go "Whoa! Whoa!" and…
- Happiness is not a circus clown rolling around in a big tractor tire so that his arms and legs form 'spokes.' Happiness is when he…
- When you go ice-skating, try not to swing your arms too much, because that really annoys me.
- I remember we were all horrified to see Grandpa up on the roof with his Superman cape on. "Get down!" yelled Uncle Lou. "Don't move!"…
- Once while walking through the mall a guy came up to me and said, 'Hey, how's it going?' So I grabbed his arm and twisted…
More Arms Quotes
- When you care about human beings, you do your best to not repress and to not let people to repress and to… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Both oligarch and tyrant mistrust the people, and therefore deprive them of their arms. — Aristotle
- A system is in equilibrium when the forces constituting it are arranged in such a way as to compensate each other, like… — Rudolf Arnheim
- Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today… — Marcus Aurelius
- I feel more comfortable when I'm lighter - I sleep better, I snore less, I have more endurance when I work out,… — Tyra Banks
- These flowers, which were splendid and sprightly, waking in the dawn of the morning, in the evening will be a pitiful frivolity,… — Pedro Calderon de la Barca
- Despite two decisions, in 2008 and 2010, by the U.S. Supreme Court unequivocally affirming that the Second Amendment to the Constitution guarantees… — Bob Barr
- When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was wearing boxing gloves. — John Barrymore
- A ball had passed between my body and the right arm which supported him, cutting through the sleeve and passing through his… — Clara Barton
- The dance can reveal everything mysterious that is hidden in music, and it has the additional merit of being human and palpable.… — Charles Baudelaire
- For the theatre one needs long arms... an artiste with short arms can never make a fine gesture. — Sarah Bernhardt
- The arms race is worse than it ever was, the dumping of creation down a military rat hole is worse than it… — Daniel Berrigan