Element of surprise is really fun for me in comedy. I have to be surprised, and everything's been done. — Zach Galifianakis Comedy Copy Share Image
I do whatever comes my way. But I get burned out on stage. It's a lonely world. I think part of the… — Zach Galifianakis Burned Copy Share Image
There was a long time where I was an 'artist' in quotes, who had no money. But I guess back then I… — Zach Galifianakis Art Copy Share Image
I dream of starting a three-man country trio called the Chixie Dicks. — Zach Galifianakis Comedy Copy Share Image
Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I'm not… — Zach Galifianakis Busboys Copy Share Image
Privacy is big for me. To do interviews even, I have a very love/hate with it. — Zach Galifianakis Bigs Copy Share Image
When a role seems fun it's easy to play. It kind of comes organically. — Zach Galifianakis Easy Copy Share Image
Don't boo people! Don't boo! Be more specific! Like, 'WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?! I HATE THAT! I HATE IT!' — Zach Galifianakis Funny Copy Share Image
The congressmen and senators used to go have a drink in D.C. They would disagree all day long, but they would find… — Zach Galifianakis Congressman Copy Share Image
I don't want to do an edgy show, I didn't want bad language. I think edginess is the new hackiness. — Zach Galifianakis Bad language Copy Share Image
Yesterday, I masturbated for 45 minutes... with salad tongs. — Zach Galifianakis Funny Copy Share Image
You save 15 more minutes of sleep if you are a man and you don't have to shave. — Zach Galifianakis Ifs Copy Share Image
I was talking to my mom the other day, and she called me a weirdo. It was the first time I'd ever… — Zach Galifianakis First time Copy Share Image
Do you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was reading online that he died today. He… — Zach Galifianakis Died Copy Share Image
I understand Tea Partyers' anger with the system, but they are in way over their heads and often racially motivated, and I… — Zach Galifianakis Motivated Copy Share Image
I have to stop crying when I watch "The View". It's not because of the topics at hand, I just feel sorry… — Zach Galifianakis Couches Copy Share Image
I watch a happy person doing stand-up, and I go, "What the hell is this? This person's happy!" You need internal conflict.… — Zach Galifianakis Comedy Copy Share Image
I love playing a curmudgeon. I just love playing a sour guy. — Zach Galifianakis Curmudgeon Copy Share Image
I like dark comedies. That's why I like the Wayans Brothers. — Zach Galifianakis Brother Copy Share Image
I live in Los Angeles and I had been drinking one night, so I was on the walk of fame and I… — Zach Galifianakis Boss Copy Share Image
I never really did the club stuff; I'm really kind of a wimp that way. I just stay mostly in Los Angeles… — Zach Galifianakis Los angeles Copy Share Image
