I know my face is turning red. I don't want you to interpret it as being embarrassed. It's rage. The color of… — Zach Galifianakis Anger Copy Share Image
We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest… — Zach Galifianakis Coma Copy Share Image
I am not into publicity. I'm not good at it. I get anxiety about it. — Zach Galifianakis Anxiety Copy Share Image
I don't want my personal life to change. I don't understand why people strive for fame. I know it's ironic for me… — Zach Galifianakis Fame Copy Share Image
I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are mean. — Zach Galifianakis Children Copy Share Image
When I first got to L.A., I had a pretty good setup. I convinced a mechanic to let me live in an… — Zach Galifianakis Pretty good Copy Share Image
As a comic, it's anti-comedy to be known. I think a lot of comedic actors get lost in this world of Hollywood… — Zach Galifianakis Actors Copy Share Image
I don't really have a pattern yet. I don't know if I'll develop one. As far as comedic integrity, I don't have… — Zach Galifianakis Comedic Copy Share Image
I think if you come out to California trying to be an actor, it's pretty hard. There's desperation. A lot of people… — Zach Galifianakis Actors Copy Share Image
My brother was torturous, I guess, but in a funny way. He used to say to me, 'I'm giving you a gag… — Zach Galifianakis Brotherhood Copy Share Image
You know how some people have gay-dar? I have fat-dar. I can automatically tell if you're fat or not. And I also… — Zach Galifianakis Cerebral Copy Share Image
I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver. — Zach Galifianakis Becoming Copy Share Image
I wonder if in 2050 there will be a movie called, 'Dude, Where's My Spaceship' — Zach Galifianakis Funny Copy Share Image
I am not really into porn. I have always wanted to go to a table read for a porn though. If I… — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
I want to do another reality show. It's based on The Mole. It's about sexually transmitted diseases. It's called "God, I Hope… — Zach Galifianakis Disease Copy Share Image
My father used to beat me with his belt...while it was still on him. — Zach Galifianakis Beats Copy Share Image
I used to be really cute. I could send you earlier photos where I'm stunning. But I've gained about twenty pounds over… — Zach Galifianakis Conclusion Copy Share Image
I'm terrible about people wanting to take pictures with me. I'm a giant baby about it. They treat you like a cartoon.… — Zach Galifianakis Baby Copy Share Image
I knew from day one, when the VH1 guys came in and said, 'Don't make fun of Cher, don't make fun of… — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means. — Zach Galifianakis Abbreviations Copy Share Image
You know, sometimes if you work - if you do a lot of takes and you work long hours, for me, at… — Zach Galifianakis Concern Copy Share Image
I've been happily dedicated to the same woman for a number of years. I never even look at other women. — Zach Galifianakis Dedicated Copy Share Image
Head gear, plus acne equals...table for one in the cafeteria. — Zach Galifianakis Acne Copy Share Image
