I think comedy is a really, really good tool for trying to say something. — Zach Galifianakis Comedy Copy Share Image
Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American… — Zach Galifianakis Agree Copy Share Image
I have never been much of a groomer. I take baths a lot, but I don't wear deodorant. I don't have to.… — Zach Galifianakis Advice Copy Share Image
It's not good for comedy to be like, 'Thanks for liking me.' Being popular is poison. — Zach Galifianakis Being popular Copy Share Image
I wish I could sit back and say, 'Oh, I'm gonna wait for a Merchant-Ivory film to come my way. Or Ivory-Merchant.… — Zach Galifianakis Brother Copy Share Image
People get TV deals by doing something in their grandmother's basement. It is definitely the wave. Everybody is trying to do all… — Zach Galifianakis Auditions Copy Share Image
Reciting lines is hard; making stuff up is much, much easier. — Zach Galifianakis Easier Copy Share Image
I think sadness and anger are really fertile ground for comedy. No one is really interested in a happy person doing comedy. — Zach Galifianakis Comedy Copy Share Image
I'm the most mellow person offstage. I think it's just, going onstage lets me get out some frustration that I'm too shy… — Zach Galifianakis Fronts Copy Share Image
My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron...and a lot like Patrick Ewing. — Zach Galifianakis Girlfriend Copy Share Image
Did you ever wake up with an erection...and find yourself in a massage chair at Brookstone? And you yell to the sales… — Zach Galifianakis Chairs Copy Share Image
I feel that living your life in contradiction keeps one confused and happy... It makes me laugh when people miscommunicate. I like… — Zach Galifianakis Life Copy Share Image
I don't like to have anybody tell me to be in a place at certain times. That's kind of the advantage of… — Zach Galifianakis Advantage Copy Share Image
I'm not versed enough in constitutional law to run for office. I'd have to go back to school or something. — Zach Galifianakis Constitutional law Copy Share Image
My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people… — Zach Galifianakis Dad Copy Share Image
I'd like to do a reality show with four white people...who are dropped off in a really bad black neighborhood. And the… — Zach Galifianakis Black Copy Share Image
I'm proud of The Hangover, but to be in movies like this, which are really the only places I can get work,… — Zach Galifianakis Art Copy Share Image
I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort. — Zach Galifianakis Forts Copy Share Image
I was just thinking how unfortunate it'd be to be a fat girl named Candy. — Zach Galifianakis Candy Copy Share Image
I'm an American so its kind of hard for me to talk about 9/11. So whenever someone brings it up in a… — Zach Galifianakis Communication Copy Share Image
I just could just shave my beard, and nobody would recognize me. Although I look like Jodie Foster. — Zach Galifianakis Beard Copy Share Image
It was in the back of a hamburger joint in Times Square. I did a joke about not wanting to sleep on… — Zach Galifianakis Times square Copy Share Image
But comedy is like music, it appeals to some people. Some people like Creed, those people are usually pretty stupid. But they… — Zach Galifianakis Appeals Copy Share Image
You're not supposed to be accepting trophies. You're supposed to be in the back being mad that people are getting trophies. — Zach Galifianakis Accepting Copy Share Image
