Chairs Quote by Zach Galifianakis

“Did you ever wake up with an erection...and find yourself in a massage chair at Brookstone? And you yell to the sales clerk "I'll take it!"” quote by Zach Galifianakis — Download Open image

“Did you ever wake up with an erection...and find yourself in a massage chair at Brookstone? And you yell to the sales clerk "I'll take it!"”

Zach Galifianakis

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More by Zach Galifianakis

My girlfriend and I went to a dinner party the other night and we ended up playing charades. There was another couple there that…

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When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese.

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The whole thing about working in front of the camera is to make people laugh when they're not supposed to.

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I'm Greek. My body produces feta cheese.

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I've always wanted to have a Greek sitcom called Olive Lucy.

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I kind of put myself out there as is. I'm a quiet person. I don't know if that's surprising. I'm a Pilates junkie.

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It's fun for me to couple emotion with comedy. I think it helps comedy. I think a lot of times American comedies don't play…

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The problem with these interviews is that there's no sarcastic font.

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People are trying to prove things. And I probably have that. I probably do. Probably guilty of it, in a way.

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American society loves to prop people up and then take them down.

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I just try to keep myself a traditionalist. I liked being an underground comic doing my thing. I want to maintain that. I just…

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Tigers love pepper...they hate cinnamon.

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Explore all 145 Zach Galifianakis quotes

More Chairs quotes

“Yes, when I get big and have my own home, no plush chairs and lace curtains for me. And no rubber plants. I'll have a desk like this in my parlor and white walls and a clean green blotter every Sunday night and a row of shining yellow pencils always sharpened for writing and a golden-brown bowl with a flower…

Betty Smith

I've always thought that the most extraordinary special effect you could do is to buy a child at the moment of its birth, sit it on a little chair and say, "You'll have three score years and ten," and take a photograph every minute. "And we'll watch you and photograph you for ten years after you die, then we'll run…

Clive Barker

He sank into the rocking chair, the same one in which Rebecca had sat during the early days of the house to give embroidery lessons, and in which Amaranta had played Chinese checkers with Colonel Gerineldo Marquez, and in which Amarana Ursula had sewn the tiny clothing for the child, and in that flash of lucidity he became aware that…

Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Forget the noose. Forget the Iron Maiden. Forget the electric chair or the guillotine. The mind was mankind's most painful torture chamber, the blessed…

Tiffanie DeBartolo

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I thought being in the wheelchair might be kind of limiting for me as an actor. It turned out cool in a lot of…

Jim Beaver

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Now know I well what people sought formerly above all else when they sought Teachers of virtue. Good sleep they sought for themselves, and poppy-head virtues to promote it! To all those be-lauded sages of the academic chairs, wisdom was sleep Without dreams: they knew no higher significance of life. Even at present, to be sure, there are some like…

Friedrich Nietzsche