If God Was A Woman.... Men would have a built in lie detector on forehead for instant verification of truth — Nikhil Saluja Lie detector Copy Share Image
My girlfriend hates when I make jokes about her weight. She needs to lighten up. — Nikhil Saluja Being fat Copy Share Image
People who quote-unquote themselves when talking with their fingers can go fuck themselves. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I think it's so rude when I fart in public and not a single person is polite enough to tell me, God… — Nikhil Saluja God bless Copy Share Image
The easiest way to win if your girlfriend likes to play games is by hitting her with a cheat code. — Nikhil Saluja Programming Copy Share Image
I only bang chicks with a masters degree or higher. Why you ask? Cause I'm fucking genius. — Nikhil Saluja Masters degree Copy Share Image
For all my haters, I just want you to know that there's no medicine for insecurities so better commit suicide! — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Pretty sure the woman of my dreams will be the kind who'll agree to hold my beer glass while I watch the… — Nikhil Saluja Ball game Copy Share Image
Youre probably doing something wrong if you have to give a press conference every time you masturbate. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I can't listen to the radio. Every love song reminds me of you. It hurts. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
When gays hack into their boyfriend's Facebook account, do they change the status to, I'M STRAIGHT AND I LOVE EATING PUSSY!? — Nikhil Saluja Eating Pussy Copy Share Image
If twitter was highschool my penis would be the spam in every hot chicks inbox. — Nikhil Saluja Hot Chicks Copy Share Image
Meanwhile last night on facebook another girl got engaged, must unfriend her now. — Nikhil Saluja Last night Copy Share Image
This Is The Beginning Of A New Day! You Have Been Given This Day To Use As You Will! — Nikhil Saluja Birth Copy Share Image
The only time I enjoy listening to people complain is when I have my earphones on. — Nikhil Saluja Time Copy Share Image
Who are you? Why am I here? I want answers now or I want them eventually! — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I bet at least 10 idiots will tweet about how much they needed this weekend. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Guys: If you ever get the chance to bang a blind chick, trust me, always finish on her face. She'll never see… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't fall for lines like, God protects his servants in the clergy from harm. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Lazy rule: If opportunity doesn't knock on the door today, lay down and wait for him to pass by the next day. — Nikhil Saluja Next day Copy Share Image
