I hate when girls say You probably say that to 100 girls. Don't you use the same résumé when applying for jobs? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I star you, you star me, we're a happy family! -This is what I'm usually singing while starring your tweets, guys. — Nikhil Saluja Family Copy Share Image
I offered my opponents a deal: if they stop telling lies about me, I will stop telling the truth about them — Nikhil Saluja Negotiation Copy Share Image
If you can't be the reason behind her smile, at least be the reason she walks funny for a while! — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
After 70, a woman is like Tibet: Beautiful, with a mysterious past andthe wisdom of the ages. An adventurous spirit and a… — Nikhil Saluja Adventurous spirit Copy Share Image
You'll have to excuse me if I seem a little full of myself today; my wife called my paycheck cute. — Nikhil Saluja Cute Copy Share Image
Everytime someone tweet 'Love is in the air' I usually go & shave my balls. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
INFATUATION, A wasting disease easily cured -- by marriage — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
Im pretty sure the best thing about twitter is the ability to read other peoples fights. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, is when a female hypochondriac marries a pill; — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
Twitter: where people with more than 1000 followers start acting like celebrities. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Just when I start to think I lack talent, I sneeze and fart at the same time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Who cares about the Key to a woman's heart when whisKey is the quickest Key to her panties. — Nikhil Saluja Woman's Heart Copy Share Image
For those who woke up in a Fussy mood this morning do me a favor, punch your spouse in their fucking face. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
The only time a woman should have a man by the balls is when she's sucking on them. — Nikhil Saluja Time Copy Share Image
The British Royal Family had to be Gujjus - love travelling & have visited every country on planet Earth. — Nikhil Saluja Planet earth Copy Share Image
Twitters really just about tweeting dope shit and making girls you never met dream about you. — Nikhil Saluja Dreams Copy Share Image
I asked my girlfriend for a blow job today and she replied with, Well, what will I get? I'm guessing Herpes was… — Nikhil Saluja Blow job Copy Share Image
I just killed a spider and there's blood everywhere because the spider was on my wife's face. I'm a murderer, guys. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
