Best Louis C. K. Lines
- If I do something for my kids, I get a medal, because most fathers don't. Father
- Pushing the envelope' sort of implies that you're inside the envelope with everyone else, and you're trying to find the edges on the outsides. Edges
- There's no real preparing at home for stand-up. You just go and you just do it. Go
- When I take my kids out for dinner or lunch, people smile at us. Dinner
- When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while I was like, 'This is just… Dating
- You can't cancel my stand-up tours. It's impossible. There's too many separate bosses. There is no 'bosses.' Boss
- If you're a cartoon character or most TV characters, sure, you'll fight, because the punches are juicy-sounding and they don't leave marks. But in real… Any
- There's a woman I see who's not my therapist, but she's like an old friend who's a therapist in profession. She lets me talk to… Always Says
- When I read things like the foundations of capitalism are shattering, I'm like, maybe we need that. Maybe we need some time where we're walking… Capitalism
- Anytime you see a bit where some stranger does something to me, it's me. Anytime
- Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing. Breaking
- For my scale, how I grew up and live my life, I'm making plenty of money. Grew
- I do actually use a boxing trainer when I train for stand-up. Actually Use
- I do feel a lot of times like I'm out of my league with my kids in terms of what my responsibility is. Feel
- I grew up watching all these crazy movies, European movies and stuff, and I guess that I always laughed at things that were a little… All
- I like all ladies of all different ages. Age
- I love comedians. They're my community. Comedian
- I spend enough time onscreen looking hangdog and depressed. Depressed
- I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to you?' Any
- I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're going to be… Always Done
- I thought about going to NYU film school - that was this ideal to me. But I didn't make any kind of grades in high… Any
- I was an awkward kid. Awkward
- I'm enjoying the work while I get it right now. Enjoy
- I'm not a political comedian. That's just not what I do. Comedian
- I'm not sure why I'm so often disgusting on stage. I don't always know where it comes from. Always Know
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