Don't keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason. — Jimmy Fallon Astronomy Copy Share Image
I sing in the car if I'm in LA, because you're like soundproofed. — Jimmy Fallon Car Copy Share Image
An Internet rumor claims that John Kerry had an affair with a young woman. When asked if this was similar to the… — Jimmy Fallon Affair Copy Share Image
North Korea has declared its own time zone that they are calling 'Pyongyang Time,' and set their clocks back half an hour.… — Jimmy Fallon Calling Copy Share Image
Time magazine interviewed Bill Clinton about the current presidential campaign, and he claimed he had to ask Hillary to marry him three… — Jimmy Fallon Asks Copy Share Image
President Obama said that over 40 countries have offered to help the U.S. fight ISIS. Of course they said it the same… — Jimmy Fallon Call me Copy Share Image
It's Friday. That's one reason to celebrate. Also, it's the first day in a long time when no one declared they're running… — Jimmy Fallon Celebrate Copy Share Image
A Pennsylvania woman convicted for shoplifting was sentenced to wear a badge that reads "Convicted Shoplifter." However, her lawyers hope to plea… — Jimmy Fallon Badges Copy Share Image
In a recent interview, Hillary Clinton said that one of the jobs that prepared her to be president was sliming fish in… — Jimmy Fallon Alaska Copy Share Image
Today New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie announced that he's endorsing Mitt Romney for president. It's good news for Romney. I mean, you… — Jimmy Fallon Christie Copy Share Image
Donald Trump's not backing down. Yesterday he said he doesn't need to be lectured by the other Republican candidates, who he says… — Jimmy Fallon Backing down Copy Share Image
A new study found that women think men holding a guitar are more attractive, even if they are not playing it. In… — Jimmy Fallon Accordions Copy Share Image
In New York, there are so many potholes, they're like craters on the moon. That's another traffic thing. — Jimmy Fallon Moon Copy Share Image
In Pakistan anti-American protesters set a Kentucky Fried chicken restaurant on fire. The protesters mistakenly thought they were attacking high-ranking U.S. military… — Jimmy Fallon Anti american Copy Share Image
President Obama recently sat down with ESPN and said the NCAA should reduce the shot clock for basketball games. Then he said,… — Jimmy Fallon Ball game Copy Share Image
I remember watching Soulja Boy on YouTube over and over again to prepare for it. For the first one, I was up… — Jimmy Fallon All night Copy Share Image
A man in Arizona was arrested for stuffing snakes down his pants at a pet store. The good news is when he… — Jimmy Fallon Crime Copy Share Image
A group called Draft Biden 2016 has started selling bumper stickers that say 'I'm ridin' with Biden.' It's a lot better than… — Jimmy Fallon Biden Copy Share Image
I just heard about a woman in Germany who just gave birth to a baby boy named "Jihad." Or as the TSA… — Jimmy Fallon Amtrak Copy Share Image
Police in Texas arrested a man who was using the alias 'Barack Obama' while trying to steal money from 35 ATMs. They… — Jimmy Fallon Aliases Copy Share Image
A 99-year-old man is filing for divorce from his 96-year-old wife, making them the world's oldest divorced couple. It's got to be… — Jimmy Fallon Couple Copy Share Image
Apparently, the Obamas chose New York City because they've gotten so used to people trying to break into their house. — Jimmy Fallon Break Copy Share Image
John Walker Lindh, a twenty-year-old American studying in Pakistan, was captured in Northern Afghanistan fighting for the Taliban. Experts call it the… — Jimmy Fallon Afghanistan Copy Share Image
One GOP Congressman named Carlos Curbelo actually suggested that Donald Trump may be a 'phantom candidate' that has been planted by Democrats.… — Jimmy Fallon Bills Copy Share Image
