Funny valentines day Quotes

Today, folks, should be all about love. Unless you're old.

— Stephen Colbert

Better to have loved and lost than to live with regret.

— Big Pun

The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you.

— Rumi

This is love: to fly toward a secret sky

— Rumi

Give me a thousand kisses, then a hundred, then a thousand more.

— Catullus

I wish Adam had died with all his ribs in his body.

— Dion Boucicault

My heart's in the right place. I know, 'cuz I hid it there.

— Carrie Fisher

Love is just a chocolate substitute.

— Anonymous

Today is February 14th - St. Valentine's day. Women call it Love day, while men name it as Extortion day.

— Jay Leno

Romance is dead - it was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.

— Yeardley Smith

A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses.

— Anonymous

Oh here's an idea: let's make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine's Day.…

— Jimmy Fallon

The jewelry stores say, 'Tell your wife you love her with a diamond,' while wives tell you they love you with, 'Ok,…

— George Lopez

Ever have that one friend who gets a Valentine's Day gift for their mother? Doens't that freak you out a little? It's…

— Russ Meneve

Women are cursed, and men are the proof.

— Roseanne Barr

Basement smells bad. Look for cat poops, change litter.

— Martha Stewart

Sex, unlike justice, should not be seen to be done.

— Evelyn Laye

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.

— Albert Einstein

I love Valentine's Day. When you're a kid everyone gets a Valentine. It's like 'TO TIM, NICE PANTS, LOVE SCOTT'. It's Valentines…

— Mike Birbiglia

No matter how lovesick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along.

— Joyce Brothers