A new study found that a mothers diet affects her babys allergies. Which can only mean one thing: My mom ate cats. — Jimmy Fallon Education Copy Share Image
At a recent education summit, President Obama admitted that he can't rap. When they heard, Americans said, 'Good!' — Jimmy Fallon Education Copy Share Image
Hurricane Irene...the storm was huge news. In fact, the Weather Channel reported something they haven't seen in years. Viewers. — Jimmy Fallon Facts Copy Share Image
Thank you, people who say 'Wow, you're really photogenic,' for not saying what you really mean: 'Wow, you're really ugly in person.' — Jimmy Fallon Mean Copy Share Image
A peacock escaped from the Central Park Zoo and wandered around the city. Either that or I just saw a pigeon on… — Jimmy Fallon Bird Copy Share Image
Today Mitt Romney visited a firehouse here in New York City. Of course, he was disappointed when he learned that the firehouse… — Jimmy Fallon Cities Copy Share Image
Don't keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason. — Jimmy Fallon Astronomy Copy Share Image
In New York, there are so many potholes, they're like craters on the moon. That's another traffic thing. — Jimmy Fallon Moon Copy Share Image
Mike Huckabee said he's the only person who has fought the Clinton political machine and won. As opposed to Democratic candidate Bernie… — Jimmy Fallon Bernie sanders Copy Share Image
Republicans also took control of the Senate after gaining another seven seats. I haven't seen the GOP get this many seats since… — Jimmy Fallon Airline Copy Share Image
I'm so excited. Jay Leno is on the show tonight. He brought some really funny jokes and some great stories. Although I'm… — Jimmy Fallon Comfortable Copy Share Image
Yesterday President Obama traveled to Jamaica, where he will meet with students and Caribbean leaders. Jamaica's such a beautiful place, Obama says… — Jimmy Fallon Beautiful Copy Share Image
Donald Trump's not backing down. Yesterday he said he doesn't need to be lectured by the other Republican candidates, who he says… — Jimmy Fallon Backing down Copy Share Image
President Obama said that over 40 countries have offered to help the U.S. fight ISIS. Of course they said it the same… — Jimmy Fallon Call me Copy Share Image
During a recent press conference, former President Jimmy Carter said he could never run for president today because he doesn't have a… — Jimmy Fallon Carter Copy Share Image
We had the guys from X Men 2 do the cameras. They had a 360 camera that would go from one car,… — Jimmy Fallon Air Copy Share Image
I read that yesterday, the Mexican peso hit its lowest point since March of 2009. In fact, things got so bad, it… — Jimmy Fallon Bars Copy Share Image
He man who invented Doritos has passed away at the age of 97. He asked to be buried with the creator of… — Jimmy Fallon Age Copy Share Image
I feel like I'm being too Zen. I'm inhaling too much patchouli and incense. It's embarrassing. — Jimmy Fallon Embarrassing Copy Share Image
There's a growing trend of older Americans who are using marijuana in their retirement. That makes sense because old people are always… — Jimmy Fallon Growing Copy Share Image
I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. — Jimmy Fallon Catholic Copy Share Image
Arizona just became the 15th state to approve medical marijuana. So I give it three days before they stop caring about the… — Jimmy Fallon Arizona Copy Share Image
You run on the treadmill. But you need to stop watching The Food Network when you're doing it. That is how you… — Jimmy Fallon Exercise Copy Share Image
God invented mankind because he loved silly stories. Ralph Steadman I like being absurd. — Jimmy Fallon Absurd Copy Share Image
I love Nashville. I've been here so many times... oh man, I would stay here for a year if I could. It's… — Jimmy Fallon Country Copy Share Image
Thank you... fantasy football draft, for letting me know that even in my fantasies, I am bad at sports. — Jimmy Fallon Draft Copy Share Image
Apparently President Obama's favorite cocktail is a martini. When asked how he likes it, he said, 'On the beach, in Hawaii, in… — Jimmy Fallon Beach Copy Share Image
Apparently, the Obamas chose New York City because they've gotten so used to people trying to break into their house. — Jimmy Fallon Break Copy Share Image
Thank you... Apple, for adding a camera to the iPod Nano. Now it's just like the iPhone except it can't make calls.… — Jimmy Fallon Apples Copy Share Image
According to a new poll, 48 percent of Americans believe that Hillary Clinton is honest and trustworthy. Then Hillary said, 'Actually I… — Jimmy Fallon Believe Copy Share Image
A new study found that students who are taught abstinence end up with better math scores. Of course, if you join the… — Jimmy Fallon Abstinence Copy Share Image
Listening is more important than talking. Just hit your mark and believe what you say. Just listen to people and react to… — Jimmy Fallon Believe Copy Share Image
The Pentagon banned the army from using Chinese-made berets. In a more veiled slap at the Chinese, the Pentagon also banned any… — Jimmy Fallon Alternatives Copy Share Image
I just heard about a woman in Germany who just gave birth to a baby boy named "Jihad." Or as the TSA… — Jimmy Fallon Amtrak Copy Share Image
When you have a baby, sleep is not an option. You can't sleep. Even on vacation, you wake up at 6:30 a.m. — Jimmy Fallon Baby Copy Share Image
I read that as marijuana legalization becomes more popular, it could affect the jobs of drug-sniffing dogs. Or as those dogs put… — Jimmy Fallon Dog Copy Share Image
NASA is developing space taxis to shuttle astronauts to the International Space Station. And just like New York taxis, they're all going… — Jimmy Fallon Aliens Copy Share Image
I don't shoot guns. I don't know how to do that. I grew Upstate New York, so I fought with my fists. — Jimmy Fallon Fists Copy Share Image
The BP president said yesterday that the company would survive. That's like someone running over your dog and saying, 'Don't worry, my… — Jimmy Fallon Business Copy Share Image
When I see professional clowns, mimes, or people who makes ballon animals, I think of their relatives and how disappointed they must… — Jimmy Fallon Animal Copy Share Image
