President Obama awarded a National Medal of Arts to author Stephen King. You know, because if there's anyone who can relate to… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
President Obama said that if he could have any superpower, he'd want the ability to speak any language. That's so everyone in… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
New York Governor Andrew Cuomo just signed a bill that bans powdered alcohol from the state. So if you live in New… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
During a recent interview, President Obama revealed that his favorite movie this year was 'Boyhood.' It makes sense. If there's one thing… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Researchers here in New York created a robot that actually passed a self-awareness test. So if you're keeping score, that's robots: 1,… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
The White House announced that President Obama will attend a summit in Kenya this July. When asked if he's ever been to… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
President Obama said that over 40 countries have offered to help the U.S. fight ISIS. Of course they said it the same… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Jeb Bush is facing criticism after it was just revealed that he checked off his race as 'Hispanic' on a voter registration… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
In several speeches and interviews, Donald Trump has brought up his book 'The Art of the Deal,' and said that Obama would… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Now that the midterm elections are over, President Obama has invited congressional leaders from both parties to a meeting at the White… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Lincoln Chafee, former governor of Rhode Island, announced he's running for president. Before he announced he's running, his wife went on Facebook… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
If you're going to do a Chris Christie joke, just say, 'Christie spent $82,000 at a concession stand at MetLife Stadium. Then… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
I love Nashville. I've been here so many times... oh man, I would stay here for a year if I could. It's… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
An Internet rumor claims that John Kerry had an affair with a young woman. When asked if this was similar to the… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
President Obama recently said that his day is all about politics, so in the mornings he likes to watch ESPN. So if… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
In a new interview, Herman Cain said that if Rick Perry were an ice cream flavor, he'd be 'Rocky Road.' I don't… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Barnes & Noble CEO William Lynch just announced that he is stepping down after three years. When asked if he's looking for… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
North Korea has declared its own time zone that they are calling 'Pyongyang Time,' and set their clocks back half an hour.… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
A new study found that women think men holding a guitar are more attractive, even if they are not playing it. In… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
President Obama is launching a new $6 billion space policy that will ultimately take astronauts to Mars. Of course, it's $6 billion… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
A new study found that students who are taught abstinence end up with better math scores. Of course, if you join the… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Donald Trump announced that he's running for president. During his speech he told the crowd that if elected he would be 'the… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
There are reports that if Joe Biden runs for president, he would promise to serve for only one term - because nothing… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
When you were a kid, it [work in IBM] seemed like an awesome job. I'd get to go to work and have… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
A new helicopter service called Gotham Air is now offering users cheap flights from Manhattan to JFK or Newark airports that start… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Jeb Bush gave a speech yesterday. He had a pretty rough time. He accidentally said that ISIS has 200,000 men instead of… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Jeb Bush's brother Neil said that their mother has 'come around' to the idea of Jeb running for president in 2016. Because… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Yesterday, the White House confirmed that President Obama will meet with Pope Francis during his visit in September. Some experts are wondering… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Researchers in Canada say they have discovered the part of the brain that is used to make decisions, and this is weird:… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Apple is apparently building a large solar energy farm in North Carolina. And if there's any justice, the minute they're done building… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
A political action committee trying to raise money for a 2016 Hillary Clinton campaign is selling “Ready for Hillary” champagne glasses and… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Democrats have been doing everything they can to get young people and college students to vote in the midterms. Though if you… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton used a private email account to conduct official state business. Experts say that if this violates any federal rules, then… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Rand Paul is officially running for president. He even revealed his campaign slogan, which is 'Defeat the Washington machine. Unleash the American… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
The acting director of the Secret Service, Joseph Clancy, said they may make the fence around the White House taller because of… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
This week a man was arrested for jumping over the White House fence and trying to spray paint a political message. If… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Donald Trump told ABC news that if he had Oprah as a running mate, they could easily win. Although you know who'd… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Vladimir Putin bribed a soccer official with a Picasso painting so he would support Russia's bid to host the 2018 World Cup.… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
A new survey found that 12 percent of parents punish their kids by banning social networking sites. The other 88 percent punish their kids… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
I read that as marijuana legalization becomes more popular, it could affect the jobs of drug-sniffing dogs. Or as those dogs put it, 'Thanks,… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
NASA is developing space taxis to shuttle astronauts to the International Space Station. And just like New York taxis, they're all going to be… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
In a recent attack ad, the NRA claims that President Obama cares about his own children more than he cares about other children. In… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
After Donald Trump wrote Lindsey Graham's cellphone number on a piece of paper and showed it to everybody, Graham said he's getting a new… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Yesterday on CNN, Joe Biden said he hasn't made up his mind about whether he'll run for president in 2016. Which raises the question:… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
A clothing company is making T-shirts inspired by Bernie Sanders with messages like 'Feel the Bern.' They were gonna make them for Lincoln Chafee… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Arizona just became the 15th state to approve medical marijuana. So I give it three days before they stop caring about the whole immigration… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
I became a Yankees fan for a few years. But now, I gotta say, I'm really rooting for the Red Sox. — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
My dream was to grow up and get a job at IBM, like my dad. That seemed like a logical dream. — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
The federal government is starting to plan for climate change by making extended forecasts that can help people plan for extreme weather - because… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Yesterday, the Supreme Court spent over an hour listening to arguments on whether Obamacare is unconstitutional. Yeah, listening to arguments about Obamacare for an… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
![“When you were a kid, it [work in IBM] seemed like an awesome job. I'd get to go to work and have a briefcase. I loved how Dad wore a tie and got a car. I didn't know if all those things came together. I'd see my dad go off to work and we'd wait for him to come home, and we'd all be excited to see…” quote by Jimmy Fallon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/8bb/jimmy-fallon-656_briefcases_when-you-were-a-kid-it-work-in-ibm-seeme_2331013.jpg)
