Jay Leno Quotes

325 quotes in 3904 categories

• President Obama has begun a three-state bus tour. I believe the three states are: Confusion, Delusion, and Desperation.
• Thanksgiving began in 1621 when Native Americans sat down with a bunch of undocumented pilgrims. They had dinner and the pilgrims never left.
• You know what you call the two winners of that $580 million PowerBall lottery? ... Former Democrats
• President Obama flew to a rally in Las Vegas last night. However, he did not visit any of the casinos. You know why? When you're…
• Well, 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' is back - not for gays in the military. It's President Obama's new policy for questions about Libya. Don't ask,…
• Chris Christie won by such a wide margin that pundits say this will give him the impetus he needs to run for president. And he's…
• Yesterday all five living presidents gathered for the opening of the George W. Bush presidential library in Dallas. Well, six living presidents if you count…
• President Obama was in India yesterday visiting our jobs. Tomorrow he goes to China to visit our money.
• We're heading for a gov. shutdown. This is serious. W/o the gov who will fail to inspect our airplanes? Who will fail to secure our…
• President Obama is coming under criticism now for not meeting with his jobs council. He hasn't met with his jobs council in over six months.…
• One of President Obama's winning points last night was about how sanctions against Iran are crippling their economy. And believe me, if anyone knows how…
• According to The New York Times, more than half of President Obama's Twitter followers are fake. They don't even exist. Which is actually a good…
• The White House is now urging Americans not to 'read too much' into last week's jobs report. In fact, they said it would be best…
• Yesterday morning Facebook was temporarily offline, leaving millions of workers unable to do anything except their jobs.
• In Greece, the unemployment rate has risen to 22%. The solution to the problem was to raise taxes on the rich, according to the Greek…
• President Obama signed a bill preventing members of Congress from profiting from insider trading. Didn't you think that was already illegal?
• Oh, here's your tax dollars at work. This is what makes people furious. The head of the GSA, a woman named Martha Johnson, has resigned…
• The FCC is considering lifting the ban on cellphone calls on planes. The good news is you'll be able to make calls during your flight.…
• Texas governor Rick Perry said God is calling on him to run for President. But Michele Bachmann said that god is calling on her to…
• The IRS says it's been getting death threats since the health care bill passed because the IRS is going to be the ones in charge…

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