All Jay Leno Quotes
- If you give everybody a slice of pie, you will still have more than enough. Everybody
- It seems that England's royal family is running out of money. They are down to just $1.6 million. Well sure, that's what happens when nobody… Down
- A team of British lawyers has now concluded that the Declaration of Independence was illegal, and the American colonies had no right to secede from… American
- A petition to have Justin Bieber deported got over 100,000 signatures, which means the White House now has to legally rule on it. So finally… Agree
- America needs ObamaCare like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask. America
- Facebook has revealed their estimated net worth - $96 billion. That's almost as much money as businesses lose every year from their employees wasting time… Billion
- President Obama is asking Congress to support a military strike in Syria. If they approve, it will be the first time Congress has officially declared… Approve
- Neural scientists at M.I.T. say they can plant false memories in your brain. No, that is not new. Politicians have been doing that for years.… Been
- Scientists say they have developed a car that can run on water. The only catch is, the water has to come from the Gulf of… Car
- I've lost some weight. I am on that new Obama diet. Every day I let Vladimir Putin eat my lunch. Day
- According to federal reports filed yesterday, the Obama campaign spent more money than they raised in the month of May. They spent more money than… According
- According to a new book coming out by a Pulitzer Prize-winning author, apparently when he was in high school, President Obama smoked large amounts of… According
- Contact with the customer is what business is all about. All
- Changing the story until you believe it. Believe
- "I am not just another notch on your belt?" she asked him. "Of course not." he said as he put a mark on the chalkboard. Another Notch
- USA Today reports that the number of death row executions this year has hit a 35-year low. They attribute that to DNA evidence clearing more… Attribute
- President Obama had lunch with Republican leaders at the White House today and had to do without salt, pepper and butter. Not for dietary reasons.… Butter
- President Bush said it's now time for a change in Iraq and he wants them to have a Western-style democracy like ours. So right now… Accomplished
- America Online customers are upset because the company has decided to allow advertising in its chat rooms. I can see why: you got computer sex,… Ad
- Anybody can have a life. Careers are hard to come by. Anybody