Jay Leno Quotes

325 quotes in 3904 categories

• The car was the iPhone of the 20th century. Kids these days don't have to drive anymore. They just go there virtually.
• Anybody who gives their car to a valet isn't a car guy
• If there isn't a parking space out front or I can't see my car from the window, we're eating somewhere else.
• Regulations force people to do better.
• When you work with your hands, you learn to appreciate how easy it is to earn money talking.
• Show business is like Champagne. You'll appreciate it more if you don't drink it everyday
• Today, you get better performance from a Ford Focus than a Ferrari from the mid-70s. [The Focus] is just as fast and with better fuel…
• When you fix something with your hands it gives you a sense of accomplishment and a sense of self worth.
• You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.
• If I have one advantage, it's that I will try to work harder than the next guy.
• The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up.
• The worst thing about losing this job: I’m no longer covered by NBC. I have to sign up for ObamaCare.
• It's casual Friday, which means that at the White House, they're casually going through everybody's phone calls and records.
• Fox News has changed its slogan from 'Fair and Balanced' to 'See, I told you so!'
• Really? Anyone intimidated by Barack Obama? He can't even keep Joe Biden in line.
• These White House scandals are not going away anytime soon. People in Kenya are now saying he's 100 percent American. That's how bad it's gotten.
• The first lady said about her husband, 'I could take up a whole afternoon talking about his failures.' And today she was offered her own…
• In business news, chocolate maker nestle is buying Jenny Craig. Well, that says it all you need to know about the war on obesity, doesn't…
• According to the British Journal of Psychiatry, marijuana can cause panic attacks. I don't know . . . The only time I have ever seen…
• Sen. Joe Biden, on the day of announcing his candidacy for president of the United States, called Barack Obama the first mainstream African-American who is…

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