“I can’t get car parts at Lowes, the home improvement store? If I lived in my car, my car would be my… — Jarod Kintz Home improvement Copy Share Image
“My facial hair is imperative. I put the must in mustache.” — Jarod Kintz Facial hair Copy Share Image
“I do a lot of business with businesses. And I do a lot of business with individuals. And guess what? It turns… — Jarod Kintz Business Copy Share Image
“I could never be a chef, because I could ‘t bare the thought of my art always turning to shit.” — Jarod Kintz Art Copy Share Image
“Of all the things God created, from sunrises and rainbows, to black holes and humor, cats are the most fascinating to me. ” — Jarod Kintz Black hole Copy Share Image
“I would sacrifice my life to save two lives, provided those two people would sacrifice their lives to save four lives. In… — Jarod Kintz Life Copy Share Image
“I have an ill-fitting jacket. It looks sick. It has an “I Voted” sticker on it, so perhaps it’s as disgusted with… — Jarod Kintz Politics Copy Share Image
“I couldn’t believe she was half dressed. How dare she only be half naked in my presence.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Obesity isn't as cool as it used to be, back in the earlier centuries. Before it was a reflection on your gross… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I can’t afford to waste either my money or my time—but that doesn’t stop me from trying.” — Jarod Kintz Money Copy Share Image
“A smile is like a simile, if you have a mouth like a metaphor. That would make for like the best kiss… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick is a mythical object that empowers its handler and enables them to conquer the world and control the globe through… — Jarod Kintz Conquer the world Copy Share Image
“Would a suit of armor make women feel as invincible as a sexy pair of shoes?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a boat, and due to the brick’s reputation of indestructibility, we could call the boat “The… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m in danger of losing my job as official scribe to my inner voice.” — Jarod Kintz Inner voice Copy Share Image
“Today I am doing better than yesterday, and tomorrow I hope to be doing better than I am today. And two days… — Jarod Kintz Doing better Copy Share Image
“18 rules for not getting caught. 1-17: don’t tell anybody. #18: not even your clone.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ll get a gift for you, but I’ll give it to someone else to give to you, so that it’s like I’m… — Jarod Kintz Gift Of Giving Copy Share Image
“I put you on the map, and I can fold you up and stuff you in the glove compartment too.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m in no position to criticize, because I’m in the fetal position, and I’m bound and gagged and stuffed in the trunk… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“For my books, I do everything short of writing my own reviews. Those I do tall.” — Jarod Kintz Books Copy Share Image
“I’m an artist. I’m a cave painter. Archaeologists and art critics of the future are going to call me a genius. They’re… — Jarod Kintz Art Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. With you not being there I notice your unbeing, with you still being a being in time… — Jarod Kintz Space Copy Share Image
