“I want a camera shaped like a jail, so I can capture a ghost on film.” — Jarod Kintz Cinema Copy Share Image
“Add some mystery to your morning coffee and stir in some mist. Or go full fog for that #MissMarpleFlavor. Then solve it… — Jarod Kintz Coffee Copy Share Image
“From where I live now I can walk to the beach, if I have about three weeks.” — Jarod Kintz Live Now Copy Share Image
“Question for your life: If we were to kiss passionately for 30 minutes, would you refill my oxygen tank in the process?” — Jarod Kintz Life Copy Share Image
“In a dream, in her head means in my head, as I have unrestricted access to her thoughts and the innermost parts… — Jarod Kintz Dreams Copy Share Image
“What’s the point of being the first to arrive? Nobody is there to witness your commitment.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“-Good thing you don’t own a mirror, Mr. Mirrorless, or you’d see how ugly you are. -What makes you think I don’t… — Jarod Kintz Good thing Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to express my feelings towards her. You see, I’m not tired—but I am tired of her. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I typed out positive words, printed them out, blended them together with fruit and ice, and spoke all those words into… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ve found the safest place to store my valuables is in a trash sack. Unless I invite a bunch of hobos over… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If love had a pulse, like a heartbeat, would you find yourself oscillating like an isosceles triangle at the righteousness of a… — Jarod Kintz Justice Copy Share Image
“Though my skull is the size of a soup bowl, everything in the universe—and more—can fit inside my imagination. And guess what?… — Jarod Kintz Imagination Copy Share Image
“Renaldina told Renaldo and Renaldo told me, so that’s two points for possible miscommunication, especially when you consider that she’s deaf and… — Jarod Kintz Travel Copy Share Image
“If I ever see an alien fishing in Scotland, and witness it catching the Loch Ness Monster, I’d probably assume the world… — Jarod Kintz Loch ness monster Copy Share Image
“I may not be the greatest American, but I am a better American than all the people born in Canada that still… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Quiet night. Silence at full capacity. Noiselessness is spilling over like a coffee cup full of jock cock. In a contact sport… — Jarod Kintz Coffee cup Copy Share Image
“I need to call it a night. But only because I don’t know what else to call it. What’s in between evening… — Jarod Kintz Good morning Copy Share Image
“A sand trap is like a politician in its duality. It represents two opposing viewpoints. You see, it was designed to trap… — Jarod Kintz Politics Copy Share Image
“I lost my virginity in the back seat of a Buick. Not because I’m a romantic, but because my grandpa and grandma… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If we make it out of this alive, I’ll kill you. So you have that to look forward to.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I like sauce in my cereal. But not just any sauce, it has to be a cream sauce, almost milky in consistency.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
