“I took the wheels of my bike off in support of your bicycle race to support bike riding.” — Jarod Kintz Bike riding Copy Share Image
“I can throw an orange like a baseball, but I can’t eat a baseball like an orange. Let that be a life… — Jarod Kintz Baseball Copy Share Image
“Business idea: People like to eat and drive, so why not make edible cars? Instead of gasoline, they’d run on coffee.” — Jarod Kintz Business Copy Share Image
“I drink coffee like a civilized man—alone in a cave, wearing a loincloth, and grunting in frustration because my club is too… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The wind chime sounded like a spoon clanging against a cereal bowl, and I was glad I was having soup for breakfast.” — Jarod Kintz Wind Chime Copy Share Image
“If you tell me I look like someone you know, I might get panicked and think you’re on to me. I thought… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“All drivers run red lights the same way—with a glance in the rearview mirror to see if a cop saw them. I… — Jarod Kintz Motivation Copy Share Image
“If a clock represented a pie chart, then I just ate a slice of apple pie so large it represents 33 minutes.… — Jarod Kintz Apple pie Copy Share Image
“She puts the “She” in Sheila. Who am I talking about? Why, Sheila, of course. It should be noted that I don’t… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I say we cut our government in half, with a chainsaw along their waists.” — Jarod Kintz Politics Copy Share Image
“She was in a coma, and had been unresponsive for years. Every Tuesday I’d visit her and read to her, and as… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to get the huge wart that looks like a nose removed from my back, but first I'm going to try… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
Im bilingual, speaking English and body language. I prefer the latter, because I can speak it silently and without listening and while… — Jarod Kintz Body language Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you where you were an economic hero. So is the real life you like the dream you?… — Jarod Kintz Dreams Copy Share Image
“It’s 3:33 am as I’m writing this down on loose sheets of printer paper. I’m in the back office sitting behind the… — Jarod Kintz Good life Copy Share Image
“At the potluck, I brought two dishes: knowledge and mashed potatoes and gravy. Guess which one got cleaned out and which one… — Jarod Kintz Mashed potatoes Copy Share Image
“If I can delay your action with my inaction, then I’ll gladly do nothing for the good of the no good.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If you’re tired of taking one step forward and two steps back, just turn around. That way you’ll be going forward in… — Jarod Kintz Step forward Copy Share Image
“If science took my IQ and spread it evenly among the world's population, like mental mayonnaise, we'd have more art, less war,… — Jarod Kintz Science Copy Share Image
Dont go looking for pancakes when you have flapjacks at home. — Jarod Kintz Adultery Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used like a fleeglebeegle, which in turn could be used like a zoopkatofka, which itself could be used… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The number 12 is good, the number 123 is better, but the number one is still the best.” — Jarod Kintz Mathematics Copy Share Image
