Don't let your memory get poor with time. Do the right things to sharpen it ... like... lending me your money! — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you went to kiss your GALFRND, and She burped right in your mouth.... — Green Monk Awkward moment Copy Share Image
I'm not racist. I date women from other different races if they have pink nipples. — Green Monk Different races Copy Share Image
A gorgeous blonde found an old lamp and gently stroked it. I wonder if a genie will come, she mused. From inside… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
You didn't catch me cheating. I'm a masseuse, my tongue was just giving her tongue a massage. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
His imaginary girlfriend has left him. Due to lack of imagination, he cant imagine a life without her... — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Once again, the only reason I'm tweeting is to ignore this bum asking me to roll down my window. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Before smartphones life was terrible. I practically never stepped in dog shit. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
It's difficult for me to tell whether girls like me for who I am as a person. Damn my incredibly massive penis. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
When someone let you go first and said, ladies first, say bitches follow — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
True friends are like diapers they never leave your ass, even if they are full of shit. — Green Monk Friendship Copy Share Image
Eating pumpkin cheesecake is like getting a blowjob from a vagina. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Walter Plinge, the inventor of predictive text, has died. His funfair will be hello on sundial. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you have sex with their wives, and then you… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
The first woman who decided that tights are pants should get the Nobel Peace Prize. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Dear circle, Do you ever wake up in the morning and realize your life is pointless? Sincerely, square. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I think my baby might be connected to Al-Qaeda the way she blows up her diapers. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
