Hate when I get drunk at a bar and hot chicks waste the opportunity to take sexual advantage of me. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Whenever I see a couple holding hands from far away I sprint & imagine it being the finish line of a 100… — Green Monk Finish line Copy Share Image
My wife is angry with me and she is giving me the Silent Treatment. I don't know what I did, but I… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I have enough money to Live comfortably for the rest of my life...........If I die next Tuesday. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Wish there was a pill I could put in a girl's drink, that would make her do my taxes. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I typed married but it was auto-corrected to martyred. Damn,smartphone has gained intelligence. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I always put a crouton on my ice cream sundaes instead of a cherry. That way, it counts as a salad! — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
