All Chris Rock Quotes
- I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot. Bad
- Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whole world. Care
- Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other… All
- A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage. Goes
- Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to. Comedy
- Anything you can suck at should make you nervous. Inspirational
- Comedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves for the rest of their career. Career
- Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special. Brown
- School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man. Blacks
- A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House. Boy
- I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love… All
- Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know? Almost Like
- Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four. Black
- Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest! Abdul
- You don't need a critic to tell you people aren't laughing. Critic
- If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner. Clean
- Music is the soundtrack to the crappy movie that is my life. Crappy
- Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn't curse. Bill
- You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers. Angrier
- I can't cook, but I have a nice book of menus... and I can plate and set the table. Book
- I think my best work is when I'm kind of in charge. Best
- Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy. Comedian
- The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other. Each
- A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material. Club
- After I left high school and got my GED, I studied broadcast journalism for a year at a community college. Broadcast