All Chris Rock Quotes
- By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer. Comedy
- Comedy is a group activity, a verbal orgy. Activity
- Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie. Act
- George Bush hates midgets. Bush
- Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do. Dumb
- You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to… Any
- Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing. Blues
- I do what I can do when I can do it. Funny
- If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game. Ahead
- You don’t need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control. Men, we need to control the bullets, that’s right.… All
- If you're black, you got to look at America a little bit different. You got to look at America like the uncle who paid for… America
- You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense Cannot Win
- Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options. Inspirational
- Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right. Feel
- Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool. Anyone
- You got a gun, you don't have to work out. Gun
- Women need food, water, and compliments That's right. And an occasional pair of shoes. Compliment
- Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies. Biggest
- I used to work at McDonald's making minimum wage. You know what that means when someone pays you minimum wage? You know what your boos… Boos
- Are they real fires? Or are people just reacting to something? Just because there’s an alarm going doesn’t mean it’s a fire. And I think… Alarm
- White man makes guns? No problem. Black rapper says "gun"? Congressional hearing. Black
- My mother is the kind of woman you don't want to be in line behind at the supermarket. She has coupons for coupons. Behind
- We got no wealthy black people. We got rich people. Shaq is rich. The guy who signs his checks is wealthy. Black
- Show me one guy or woman as funny as Rodney Dangerfield or as good as George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, or Joan Rivers. There… Bill
- Does having a wife and kids change your act? Yes, but only in the best way. It gives you weight and authority. It also makes… Act