Chris Rock Quotes
165 quotes
in 1793 categories
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You don't pay taxes; they take them from your check. That's not a payment - that's a 'jack.
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When you have kids, there's no such thing as quality time. There's just time. There's no, 'Ooh, his graduation's better than going to the mall.'…
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The thing I try to get across to the writers - and I do a lot of writing, too - is that when I do…
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You could be married and bored or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere.
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I always say about my daughters, they save me from my miserable self. They take me out, you know, a comedian, you could live in…
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Oprah is rich; Bill Gates is wealthy. If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money, he'd jump out of a ... window and slit…
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Gas is getting so expensive I'm gonna ride a mexican to work.
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No matter what kind of backgrounds two men are from, if you go, 'Hey, man, women are crazy,' you've got a friend.
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I believe you have my property!
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No, I want big ol' titties in my face!
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I can't even put gas in my plane!
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My mother got sick when I was rich. And my mother, you know … I don’t really want to get into it, but my mother…
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The only acting you ever see at the Oscars is when people act like they’re not mad they lost. Nicole Kidman was smiling so wide,…
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Relationships, easy to get into, hard to maintain. Why are they so hard to maintain? Because it’s hard to keep up the lie! ‘Cause you…
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You won’t be able to take your eyes off the next four presenters: Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz.
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Happy white peoples independence day the slaves weren't free but I'm sure they enjoyed fireworks.
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You can't have anything valuable in your house. Niggers will break in and take it all! Everything white people don't like about black people, black…
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I'll go with the guy with one house. The guy with one house is scared about losing his house.
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Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep. And when I see the Tea Party and all this stuff, it actually feels…
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I love black people, but I hate niggers.
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