All Chris Rock Quotes
- A black man will be elected President of the United States. I'm sorry, that's in the year 10,000. Black
- You know the world's gone mad when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the Swiss hold the… Accusing
- My relationship with my daughter is gonna affect her relationship with men for the rest of her life... Sometimes I'm walking with my daughter. I'm… Affect
- Nobody ever says, 'Hey daddy, thanks for knockin' out this rent.' 'Hey daddy, I sure love this hot water.' 'Hey daddy, it's easy to read… All
- I saw the yearbook picture. There was six of them! I ain't have six friends in high school, I don't have six friends now! That's… Court
- For me, anything goes when I pick up a mike. I'm not trying to hurt people - I try not to get too personal but… Anything Goes
- The Democrats should have an empty chair on stage for the entire DNC, and when anyone asks who it belongs to, they can say Osama… Anyone
- I say everything's about company. A gourmet meal with an asshole is a horrible meal. A hot dog with an interesting person is an amazing… Amazing
- You can't be happy that fire cooks your food and be mad it burns your fingertips. Burns
- There's bad and then there's EDDY CURRY BAD. Bad
- Yeah, it's unfair that you can get judged by something you didn't do, but it's also unfair that you can inherit money that you didn't… Get Judged
- WHEN YOU MEET SOMEBODY FOR THE FIRST TIME, YOU'RE NOT MEETING THEM. YOU'RE MEETING THEIR REPRESENTATIVE. First Time
- Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you. All
- Here's the thing. When we talk about race relations in America or racial progress, it's all nonsense. There are no race relations. White people were… All
- Just to be clear, Ray Rice was not fired for beating his wife. He was fired because a video of him beating his wife was… Beating
- We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed. Bed
- If you’re a black Christian, you have a real short memory. Black
- There's math, and everything else is debatable! Debatable
- Women can have all the evidence but they still want the confession. All
- So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress.… Barack
- Men do not settle down. Men surrender. Down
- A black Christian is like a black person with no memory. Black
- The government doesn't want you to use YOUR drugs, they want you to use THEIR drugs. Drug
- If your work is so smart that only smart people get it, it's not that smart. Inspirational
- Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself. Funny