All Bill Maher Quotes
- The Republican Party is like the corpse in 'Weekend at Bernies' and the Tea Party is like the two guys who put sunglasses and a… Corpse
- Talk to women who've ever dated an Arab man. The results are not good, Arab
- And what is the Republican solution to these outrageous [racial] inequalities? There isn't one. And that's the point. Denying racism is the new racism. To… Acknowledge
- False hope really makes you cynical. Cynical
- A flu shot is the worst thing you can do. Flu
- A flu shot just compromises your immune system. Compromise
- I'm not into western medicine. That to me is a complete scare tactic. Complete
- Well, I hate to tell youbut if you have a flu shot for more than five years in a row, there's ten times the likelihood… Alzheimer
- To even win a nomination in this country, you have to say you're a person of great faith. You have to pledge to the people… Atheist
- In New York, Catholic groups have forced an art gallery to shut down an exhibition of a six-foot image of Jesus in chocolate. So, the… Appalling
- One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time. Advantage
- If you ignore every single thing Jesus told you to do, you are just auditing. You're not a Christian. Auditing
- Last week, I suggested the candidates take up mushrooms. I'll be damned if Rick Perry didn't take me up on that. Candidates
- To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity. Always Looks
- The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough. Better
- ...what I love about Ann Coulter is that she's sort of the-she's sort of a version of myself in that she absolutely never pulls a… Absolutely
- I would wager that the number of civilians that were killed [in] a typical week under Saddam Hussein was probably more than we killed during… Civilians
- Heroin may be bad, but it sure as hell hasn't hurt my CD collection. Addiction
- Community is gathering around a fire and listening to someone tell a story. Community
- What is "martinizing" and why does it only take one hour? Doe
- The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy. Altar
- All marriages are same sex marriages. You get married and every night, it's the same sex. All
- Don't call me when you're stuck in traffic. It's not my fault that radio sucks and did it ever occur to you that there wouldn't… Behind
- Republicans say that sex is bad, because with them it always is. It is!...I'm sorry, but they're just doughy, asexual, wonky, white people, and if… Asexual
- Catholicism has changed tremendously in recent years. Now when Communion is served there is also a salad bar. Bar