All Bill Maher Quotes
- African American Congressman Bobby Rush wore a hoodie on the floor of Congress to make a point this week. And they threw him out. They… African
- March Madnesss...the only place where you hear 'Kansas is advancing.' Advancing
- That Mitt Romney, he is a master campaigner. This week he was introducing his wife, and he said, 'She is the heavyweight champion of my… Campaigner
- Romney, Gingrich, Santorum spent their week lecturing America about the morality of birth control. You know, you guys don't need birth control, you are birth… America
- Now that they've finished reading the Constitution out loud, the Teabaggers must call out that group of elitist liberals whose values are so antithetical to… Antithetical
- Republicans stand by their convictions. Stupid, ignorant, world-destroying convictions based on disproven economic fantasies and ancient books full of primitive morality and magic people. But… Ancient
- We had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the same day. Obama… Both
- Rick Santorum has come out against contraception and against college. He wants us literally to be f**king stupid. College
- The Republicans released their 'Pledge to America.' It's 21 pages of phony charts and bad ideas. Sarah Palin got a copy, and she said, 'How… All
- Hey birthers, wanna hear my theory? My theory was that Obama was born in America and you were born with the umbilical cord around your… America
- Only 42 percent of Republicans believe Obama was born in the United States. That's an amazing statistic. How come in America Christians are the only… Amazing
- I want you teabaggers out there to understand one thing: while you idolize the Founding Fathers and dress up like them, and smell like them,… Bible
- But I've often said that if I had – I have two dogs – if I had two retarded children, I'd be a hero. And… Advance
- I want to just take a moment to thank the Teabaggers. Thank you so much for helping us pass health care, for resurrecting the Obama… America
- You can’t be a rational person six days a week and on one day of the week, go to a building, and think you are… Blood
- Being politicians, they all got to sharing their personal stories. Obama talked about his mother's battle with cancer. Harry Reid talked about a kid with… All
- Again, (America is) a stupid country with stupid people who don't pay attention. America
- What a day for the Tea Party people. Did you see that? America's parks and fairgrounds were lost in a sea of man-boobs. They were… America
- I do miss George Bush. Compared to these teabaggers and the people who are pandering to them, he looks like a professor. Bush
- This week Sarah Palin's memoir became a bestseller. It's not even out yet. It's being translated into English. Became
- There is a big difference between a disappointing friend and a deadly enemy. Of course the Democrats are disappointing. That's what makes them Democrats. If… All
- Over the last 30 odd years, Democrats have moved to the right and the right has moved into the mental hospital. So what we have… Across
- What kind of tyrant punishes everyone just to get back at the few he's mad at? I mean, besides Chris Christie. Besides
- If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. Cop
- If you want to get rich with a tax free enterprise that sells nothing, start a church. Church