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All Quotes by Bill Maher
- God knows life sucks. It's right there in the Bible. The book of Job is all about Job asking God to take away pain and…
- The Republicans released their 'Pledge to America.' It's 21 pages of phony charts and bad ideas. Sarah Palin got a copy, and she said, 'How…
- But I've often said that if I had – I have two dogs – if I had two retarded children, I'd be a hero. And…
- Being politicians, they all got to sharing their personal stories. Obama talked about his mother's battle with cancer. Harry Reid talked about a kid with…
- There is a big difference between a disappointing friend and a deadly enemy. Of course the Democrats are disappointing. That's what makes them Democrats. If…
- Nowas you all know, this week, Pope Benedict told Vatican Radio—you know, Vatican Radio, playing the hits from the 8th century, 9th century and today—Benedict…
- I doubt anything will really come of this lawsuit. First of all, it's a lawsuit. It involves a subpoena. And try to find a Republican…
- Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies crazy people. Flying…
- What I have against religion is that they start you when you are so defenseless. I mean, I was three when they started pumping this…
- The Senate decided they will be smoke-free. They ordained that all public areas in the Senate are now smoke-free. However, the senators themselves will still…
- New Rule: Gay marriage won't lead to dog marriage. It is not a slippery slope to rampant inter-species coupling. When women got the right to…
- To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't be…
- Halloween is a day when we all get to fool people into thinking we're someone else. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, campaigning.
- All marriages are same sex marriages. You get married and every night, it's the same sex.
- Funny that all of Nixon's crimes - anonymous campaign cash, wiretapping, undeclared wars - are all legal now. Discuss.
- Just honest. To me, being 'politically incorrect' means the opposite of being political -- which means to spin everything. That's all it's ever meant to…
- Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.
- It's all been satirized for your protection.
- Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an…
- President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn't…
More All Quotes
- . . . a basic law: the more you practice the art of thankfulness, the more you have to be thankful for.… — Norman Vincent Peale
- Whenever my pocket money fall short. I start to think my life sucks. Then I think about all those out there who… — Anurag Prakash Ray
- All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire. — Aristotle
- Don't be selfish and tell me why you're unfollowing me so I can retweet it for the rest and we all can… — Nikhil Saluja
- Democracy arises out of the notion that those who are equal in any respect are equal in all respects; because men are… — Aristotle
- No cause is left but the most ancient of all, the one, in fact, that from the beginning of our history has… — Hannah Arendt
- At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. — Aristotle
- Where all are guilty, no one is; confessions of collective guilt are the best possible safeguard against the discovery of culprits, and… — Hannah Arendt