All Bill Maher Quotes
- Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is. Curious
- Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need. Atheist
- Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade? Break
- I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out… Better
- The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs. Bible
- We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what… Airplane
- Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious. Bakker
- The country has become much more conservative, partly because it's been taken over by the religious right. Been
- This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from… Appear
- Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool. Case
- A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100… Album
- Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show. All
- It's all been satirized for your protection. All
- Hi, I'm Bill. I'm a birth survivor. Bill
- I never thought I'd say this, what Obama needs in his personality is a little George Bush. Bush
- The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says they just want to introduce one last-minute load of crap. Case
- When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you are not an imperialist, the best countries to have with… Best
- The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this… Briefing
- They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that… Any
- This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich said that for the entire month of June, he will… Air
- Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an… All
- President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn't… Actually Quite
- The "Power of One" is a slogan--not a goal. Goal
- Be out of the mainstream. I'm out of the mainstream. I enjoy it, who wants to be in the mainstream? Enjoy
- Saying someone is religious is heard in most of America as a compliment, a reassuring affirmation that someone will be moral, ethical, and after a… Affirmation