All Bill Maher Quotes
- Failing to warn the citizens of a looming weapon of mass destruction- and that's what global warming is- in order to protect oil company profits,… Citizens
- There is no debate here, just scientists and non-scientists. And since the subject is science, the non-scientists don't get a vote. Climate Change
- Look, I have never made a secret of the fact that I have tried marijuana... About 50,000 times. Fact
- If there is such a thing as karma, let's hope that Sarah Palin comes back as a wolf being shot at from a plane. Comes Back
- Look at the list of liberals who are active in politics, if not running. Barbra Streisand, Sean Penn, Warren Beatty, Springsteen, Spielberg... And then you… Active
- Dealing w/ Hamas is like dealing w/ a crazy woman who’s trying to kill u – u can only hold her wrists so long before… Crazy
- Faith means the purposeful suspension of critical thinking. It’s nothing to be admired. Admired
- Oh, America! I could never leave you! You're like my dog, dumb as a post but you make me laugh! America
- Religion is detrimental to the progress of society. Detrimental
- Guns aren't just a tool of last resort. They're awesome. That's why people stroke them. And name them, and take pictures with them. You guys… Awesome
- Mitt Romney we think is going run again. He says he has no plans to run, but he said if he did run, this time… Ass
- Sarah Palin said perhaps the most irresponsible thing I've ever heard any politician say. She said, 'The only thing that stops a bad guy with… Any
- Karl Rove thinks we shouldn’t have Hillary Clinton in the White House because she fell and hit her head a couple years ago, spent three… Ago
- Ted Cruz, of course, was furious that the big storm back east shut down the government. He said, 'That my job!' But you know, there… Back East
- I know climate change is a hoax – of course – but places that have never seen this type of winter weather got hit by… Been
- New Rule: This Valentine’s Day Americans must remember that politicians are like a box of chocolates. We bite into them to find out what's on… Americans
- A new biography came out that says that in high school Obama was a huge pothead … Mitt Romney had to respond to this and… Appalling
- Mitt Romney comes from a Mormon background. I don't know how many wives he has. I'm not saying that I believe in that, I'm just… Background
- Why did Mitt Romney strap his dog to the roof of his car? Could it be because his station wagon was full of wives? Car
- Mitt Romney, who is on record saying that he would not waste money going after bin Laden, and on record saying he would not violate… Bin
- That's what's so great about the Internet. It allows pompous blow-hards to connect with other pompous blow-hards in a vast circle-jerk of pomposity. Allows
- Newt Gingrich was campaigning at a zoo this week and he was bitten by a penguin. Newt Gingrich is always campaigning at zoos. Mitt Romney… Big
- New Jersey Mayor Corey Booker last night personally rescued a woman from a burning building. Or as Fox News reported it, 'black man loots house,… Black
- It's that time of year again, April 15, taxes. I know it's depressing, but just remember, you're paying for roads, bridges, hospitals, and an army… Afghanistan
- We learned this week that Mitt Romney is building a car elevator in his house. An elevator for your cars. I get the feeling this… Batman