“The air is so clean out here, so fresh. Reminds me of when I was a little girl in Georgia." Then she… — Augusten Burroughs Little girl Copy Share Image
“It's neat how money smells nothing like anything in the world except money, just like cardboard.” — Augusten Burroughs Money Copy Share Image
“If you don't like smoking don't even bother getting sober, just stay drunk.” — Augusten Burroughs Getting sober Copy Share Image
And human instinct is ancient and reliable, utterly mysterious and possibly capable of great genius. I believe that refined, fluent instincts are… — Augusten Burroughs Accurate Copy Share Image
“I knew I had an ugly life. I knew I was lonely and I was scared. I thought something might be wrong… — Augusten Burroughs Freedom Copy Share Image
In the opening to the Mary Tyler Moore Show Mary's in the supermarket, hurrying through the aisles. She pauses at the meat… — Augusten Burroughs Carts Copy Share Image
“It turns out that (he) has a condition known as micropenis. This means his penis is less than three inches long, fully… — Augusten Burroughs Big dick Copy Share Image
“In addition to calling each other standard names like bitch and whore, the Finches incorporated Freud's stages of psychosexual development into their… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I once read about a guy who lost his arms in a fire. The nurse took pity on him and gave him… — Augusten Burroughs Arms Copy Share Image
Miracles do happen. You must believe this. No matter what else you believe about life, you must believe in miracles. — Augusten Burroughs Believe Copy Share Image
I never question the way I write. Writing is the only thing that's without seams for me. It's an effort to talk… — Augusten Burroughs Alive Copy Share Image
“I liked his attention. But I also felt like there was something sick and wrong about it. Like it might make me… — Augusten Burroughs Greed Copy Share Image
“Signs with missing letters can only mean bad things.” — Augusten Burroughs Bad thing Copy Share Image
You can make almost anything a learning or positive experience. I think I offer a good example of how to make the… — Augusten Burroughs Example Copy Share Image
I really look at my childhood as being one giant rusty tuna can that I continue to recycle in many different shapes. — Augusten Burroughs Childhood Copy Share Image
Should I just sit down, right here at carousel seven, and shake until somebody's arms are around me and they're saying, 'It's… — Augusten Burroughs Arms Copy Share Image
As a child, I was never drawn toward depraved or extreme situations; I really wanted a normal little childhood. Unfortunately, that's just… — Augusten Burroughs Childhood Copy Share Image
“Rarely do very handsome men allow their faces to run around without a leash. I am not very handsome, but I am… — Augusten Burroughs Facial expression Copy Share Image
I never get sick of writing my own stories because there's a certain comfort in knowing you will never run out of… — Augusten Burroughs Certain Copy Share Image
You have an incredible body." He reaches out to touch my stomach. I feel no pleasure in his compliment or his touch,… — Augusten Burroughs Body Copy Share Image
As a young child I had Santa and Jesus all mixed up. I could identify Coke or Pepsi with just one sip,… — Augusten Burroughs Angry Copy Share Image
“I mean, handsome people are always interesting to watch. But a handsome person in crisis is riveting.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
