“he already knew how horrible I could be, yet he loved me, anyway.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Imperfections are attractive when their owners are happy with them. — Augusten Burroughs Attractive Copy Share Image
“Like cubic zirconia, I only look real. I'm an imposter.” — Augusten Burroughs Imposter Copy Share Image
If you find you require willpower, you aren't ready to lose weight. — Augusten Burroughs Discipline Copy Share Image
“I will please shut the hell up the day you please drop the hell dead” — Augusten Burroughs Shut Copy Share Image
“The air is so clean out here, so fresh. Reminds me of when I was a little girl in Georgia." Then she… — Augusten Burroughs Beach Copy Share Image
“I wish Rick would be gang-raped by a bunch of Muslim garbage collectors.” — Augusten Burroughs Muslim Garbage Copy Share Image
“My brother had very specific likes and dislikes. Basically, he liked anything until it harmed him and then he was wary.” — Augusten Burroughs Liked Copy Share Image
Like every child, I adored her. Until I formed a brain and got to know her. — Augusten Burroughs Adored Copy Share Image
My thoughts seem thick, ketchup stuck in a bottle. Like trying to feel someone's face while wearing goosedown mittens. — Augusten Burroughs Bottles Copy Share Image
I really look at my childhood as being one giant rusty tuna can that I continue to recycle in many different shapes. — Augusten Burroughs Childhood Copy Share Image
“You must hang onto the scraps of the bucking moment as if your sanity and life depended on it - because actually… — Augusten Burroughs Life Copy Share Image
Stars should not be seen alone. That's why there are so many. Two people should stand together and look at them. One… — Augusten Burroughs Astronomy Copy Share Image
“I understood that instead of being a treat for me, the Certs had been a mild compromise for him. By letting me… — Augusten Burroughs Treat Certs Copy Share Image
“And as soon as I thought this, I tried to think of something else quickly. Because we were so close that I… — Augusten Burroughs Psychology Copy Share Image
With my own memoirs, they are truthful, and I write everything fully expecting to some day end up televised on Court TV,… — Augusten Burroughs Court Copy Share Image
“[My brother] shaped my young life. First, he taught me how to walk. Then, armed with sticks and dead snakes, he chased… — Augusten Burroughs Brother Copy Share Image
I could write another collection of personal essays from what has happened to me in the last year alone. I don't seek… — Augusten Burroughs Collections Copy Share Image
“The Schnauzer listens to jazz. I listen to jazz because he likes it, and I have even gone to jazz concerts with… — Augusten Burroughs Children Copy Share Image
“As I sat on the midnight PVTA bus to Amherst, I scanned the male faces, looking for a potential boyfriend. My standards… — Augusten Burroughs Amherst Scanned Copy Share Image
And human instinct is ancient and reliable, utterly mysterious and possibly capable of great genius. I believe that refined, fluent instincts are… — Augusten Burroughs Accurate Copy Share Image
“Meetings are the Hail Marys of alcoholics. You can do or almost do anything, feel anything, commit any number of non-sober atrocities,… — Augusten Burroughs Alcoholics Copy Share Image
“After a horribly long day, I needed a mental break. I threw on my parka, with the raccoon fur around the hood,… — Augusten Burroughs Long day Copy Share Image
The reason I know what we are to each other is because we fight freely and almost constantly, about even the smallest… — Augusten Burroughs Bores Copy Share Image
It was unnerving, the way she could go from cool efficiency to sarcastic to sweet within the space of thirty seconds. I… — Augusten Burroughs Efficiency Copy Share Image
I've overcome a lot - sexual abuse, death of a loved one, bad parents and experienced life. My nature is such I… — Augusten Burroughs Abuse Copy Share Image
The most mortifying fact of my life is something that happened when I was fourteen and I have never admitted to anyone:… — Augusten Burroughs Facts Copy Share Image
“After Olestra (may cause anal leakage), people are a tad suspicious about products that do things that are too good to be… — Augusten Burroughs Leakage Copy Share Image
“I believe in the baby Jesus, and I believe he is handsome and lives in the sky with his pet cow. I… — Augusten Burroughs Change things Copy Share Image
“If you meet somebody and they love you when you are your true, awful, not-ready-yet, boring, not cool enough, not handsome enough,… — Augusten Burroughs Love Copy Share Image
“Dorothy viewed my mother's propensity toward madness not as something to be afraid of, but rather as something to look forward to,… — Augusten Burroughs Mother Copy Share Image
“Paul, all I know is that this is the third time we've talked tonight, you're saying 'fuck' to me, I'm a guy,… — Augusten Burroughs Credit card Copy Share Image
“In addition to calling each other standard names like bitch and whore, the Finches incorporated Freud's stages of psycho-sexual development into their… — Augusten Burroughs Bitch Copy Share Image
“If you have one parent who loves you, even if they can't buy you clothes, they're so poor and they make all… — Augusten Burroughs Failure Copy Share Image
“Unconditional love. That's what this is. I love him, as is, fully. I've had to stop arm wrestling with the facts. Why… — Augusten Burroughs Love Copy Share Image
“It turns out that (he) has a condition known as micropenis. This means his penis is less than three inches long, fully… — Augusten Burroughs Big dick Copy Share Image
![“[My brother] shaped my young life. First, he taught me how to walk. Then, armed with sticks and dead snakes, he chased me and I learned how to run.” quote by Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/ad9/augusten-burroughs-603_brotherhood_my-brother-shaped-my-young-life-first-he_1244612.jpg)
