and she's a nurse. do you know how hard nursing school is? it's like medical school. so she's obviously smart. — Augusten Burroughs Medical Copy Share Image
“Turn off the light," she says as she walks away, creating a small woosh that smells sweet and chemical. It makes me… — Augusten Burroughs Leaving Copy Share Image
“Like socks in a dryer, it had vanished into the ether.” — Augusten Burroughs Investing Copy Share Image
“I love her handbag. Inside are papers and her wallet and cigarettes and at the bottom, where she never looks, there is… — Augusten Burroughs Change Copy Share Image
I just look at her and she creeps me out. She looks like she would eat a baby. Not that she's fat.… — Augusten Burroughs Baby Copy Share Image
Before I'm a writer, I'm definitely a reader and when I read memoir, I really want it to be true. — Augusten Burroughs Being true Copy Share Image
“He likes things that make sense, and this word explains everything he knows about me. It makes perfect sense. Unless you don't… — Augusten Burroughs Logic Copy Share Image
I don't read memoirs. But if you write a memoir, I would think you'd want people to know, "O.K., look, I've taken… — Augusten Burroughs Books Copy Share Image
“I realized I could do anything to him and he would never hate me. I could never drive him away, spoil things… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Even when we lose an arm or a leg, there's not less of us but more. Human experience weighs more than human… — Augusten Burroughs Arms Copy Share Image
“The calcium in your bones came from a star. We are all made from recycled bits and pieces of the universe. This… — Augusten Burroughs Bits and pieces Copy Share Image
“Let the people who want to have kids, have them. And let the rest of us spend the extra money on ourselves.… — Augusten Burroughs Bad person Copy Share Image
The most mortifying fact of my life is something that happened when I was fourteen and I have never admitted to anyone:… — Augusten Burroughs Facts Copy Share Image
And I began to let him go. Hour by hour. Days into months. It was a physical sensation, like letting out the… — Augusten Burroughs Hours Copy Share Image
When you have your health, you have everything. When you do not have your health, nothing else matters at all. — Augusten Burroughs Health Copy Share Image
“Fairness is not among the laws of the universe. This means, if someone runs over your foot in a car and they… — Augusten Burroughs Justice Copy Share Image
I was in advertising for years. That was cushy, you know? It's pretty cushy in a lot of ways, but I hated… — Augusten Burroughs Advertising Copy Share Image
“And that was one thing I didn't want: NO CASUAL SEX. I thought it was disgusting, the idea of just screwing around… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“To be more confident you need to give a whole lot less of a shit about that other people think of you.” — Augusten Burroughs Confidence Copy Share Image
“In addition to calling each other standard names like bitch and whore, the Finches incorporated Freud's stages of psycho-sexual development into their… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
We were young. We were bored. And the old electroshock therapy machine was just under the stairs in a box next to… — Augusten Burroughs Bored Copy Share Image
Perfection is the satin-lined casket of creativity and originality. If you are a perfectionist, at least stop telling everybody you're one and… — Augusten Burroughs Caskets Copy Share Image
“My grandfather blasted in. "Aw now, hell, carolyn, don't go twisting the boy back up in knots all over again now that… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“When I turned thirty, I briefly flirted with the notion of undergoing sexual reassignment surgery. Once again, I was ready for a… — Augusten Burroughs Difficult time Copy Share Image
Even painfully shy and awkward people are not painfully shy or awkward when they are alone. The way to access this natural,… — Augusten Burroughs Awkward Copy Share Image
