I did not consider him to be any kind of a genius. I considered him deeply lacking in the area that mattered… — Augusten Burroughs Genius Copy Share Image
Part of me believes that love is more valuable when you have to work for it. — Augusten Burroughs Believe Copy Share Image
“All a rainbow is is light that walks behind a raindrop and its colors fall out.” — Augusten Burroughs Rainbows Copy Share Image
“He looked and sounded exactly like a real psychiatrist. Until he opened his mouth. "Let's ask God," he said.” — Augusten Burroughs Psychiatrist Copy Share Image
Like cubic zirconia, I only look real. I'm an imposter. The fact is, I am not like other people. — Augusten Burroughs Facts Copy Share Image
“I would borrow the microphone and stuff it down the front of my pants, examining myself from every angle in the mirror” — Augusten Burroughs Mirror Copy Share Image
Our lives are one endless stretch of misery punctuated by processed fast foods and the occasional crisis or amusing curiosity. — Augusten Burroughs Amusing Copy Share Image
And in my mind, this settles the issue. I would never drink cologne, and am therefore not an alcoholic. — Augusten Burroughs Alcoholic Copy Share Image
I don't have a fixed routine. I write every day but I don't "write" every day, if that makes any sense. In… — Augusten Burroughs Email Copy Share Image
To me, these people were as exotic as animals in a zoo. I'd never seen anything like them. I wasn't sure whether… — Augusten Burroughs Animal Copy Share Image
When I ate vanilla frosting straight from the can, I could feel God standing right nest to me like a real best… — Augusten Burroughs Best friend Copy Share Image
My mother began to go crazy. Not in a 'Let's paint the kitchen red!' sort of way. But crazy in a 'gas… — Augusten Burroughs Crazy Copy Share Image
I feel like they are two different things, and when I write books, they're just books. If they can be movies that's… — Augusten Burroughs Book Copy Share Image
And I began to let him go. Hour by hour. Days into months. It was a physical sensation, like letting out the… — Augusten Burroughs Hours Copy Share Image
When you say, "I need more confidence," what you're really saying is, "I need those people over there to approve of me."… — Augusten Burroughs Confidence Copy Share Image
Any damage that's been done, you have to fix yourself because it needs fixing and there is nobody else to do the… — Augusten Burroughs Blame Copy Share Image
Glen had a disability more disfiguring than a burn and more terrifying than cancer. Glen had been born on the day after… — Augusten Burroughs Birthday Copy Share Image
Freshly brainwashed from rehab, I carry the bottle into the bathroom. I hold it up to the light. See the pretty bottle?… — Augusten Burroughs Answers Copy Share Image
Time moves only forward, never back. We look forward to a moment and then it arrives and an instant later it is… — Augusten Burroughs Gone Copy Share Image
“As I move along the line, other food items are plunked onto my tray: a small salad of iceberg lettuce and bacos,… — Augusten Burroughs Food Copy Share Image
“I paused finally and watched the trees for slashes of light, but saw none. As my heart settled and my ears became… — Augusten Burroughs Listened Copy Share Image
“I want to feel calm and at ease. Like someone who lives in Half Moon Bay, California, and makes hummus from scratch.… — Augusten Burroughs Alcoholism Copy Share Image
Even painfully shy and awkward people are not painfully shy or awkward when they are alone. The way to access this natural,… — Augusten Burroughs Awkward Copy Share Image
In the opening to the Mary Tyler Moore Show Mary's in the supermarket, hurrying through the aisles. She pauses at the meat… — Augusten Burroughs Carts Copy Share Image
“My life came complete with a factory-installed biological brother seven years my senior. ” — Augusten Burroughs Brother Copy Share Image
Just as I had long suspected, a person didn't really need math for anything anyway. Maybe some people did. Some limited people. — Augusten Burroughs Long Copy Share Image
“But I think I would have been happier if the only thing that came out of his mouth was the sound of… — Augusten Burroughs Happier Copy Share Image
My window fogs and this makes me feel like there is no world outside of the car. — Augusten Burroughs Car Copy Share Image
It's weird - sort of not terribly wise - to take a book that was successful and then change its cover. — Augusten Burroughs Book Copy Share Image
“Shame is the landfill emotion. It's not organic, like joy. It was dumped there by somebody else.” — Augusten Burroughs Shame Copy Share Image
Real optimism is not the pep talk you give yourself. It is earned through the labor involved in emotional housekeeping. — Augusten Burroughs Emotional Copy Share Image
I always tried to learn Greek, but all I got out of it was, "poulaki mou." ["My little chicken."] — Augusten Burroughs Chicken Copy Share Image
“It is always safe to see yourself truthfully. You never have to be ashamed of yourself, with yourself.” — Augusten Burroughs Ashamed Copy Share Image
“I understand why sometimes people speak in cliches because sometimes there is no other way to describe something.” — Augusten Burroughs Cliche Copy Share Image
My mother is from Cairo, Georgia. This makes everything she says sound like it went through a curling iron. — Augusten Burroughs Cairo Copy Share Image
I hate news and information and anything that threatens to puncture the bubble of oblivion in which I live. — Augusten Burroughs Bubbles Copy Share Image
He continues to smile expectantly. I take a step back. I don't want to catch whatever he has. He is a disturbing… — Augusten Burroughs Christmas Copy Share Image
“I didn't begin life hating my grandmother. Like every child, I adored her. Until I formed a brain and got to know… — Augusten Burroughs Children Copy Share Image
“Truth is not an opinion. It’s a force like gravity. It’s the most valuable substance known to man.” — Augusten Burroughs Known To Man Copy Share Image
![“I always tried to learn Greek, but all I got out of it was, "poulaki mou." ["My little chicken."]” quote by Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/802/augusten-burroughs-603_chickens_i-always-tried-to-learn-greek-but-all-i_1780768.jpg)
