“You must hang onto the scraps of the bucking moment as if your sanity and life depended on it - because actually… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
If you hate your life, you haven't' seen enough of it. If you hate your life, it's because your life is too… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“I knew I had an ugly life. I knew I was lonely and I was scared. I thought something might be wrong… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Miracles do happen. You must believe this. No matter what else you believe about life, you must believe in miracles. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
You can make almost anything a learning or positive experience. I think I offer a good example of how to make the… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“This is what I'm saying; you hate your life. But you don't know what life is. Life is too huge for you… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“My life came complete with a factory-installed biological brother seven years my senior. ” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
The most mortifying fact of my life is something that happened when I was fourteen and I have never admitted to anyone:… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“What little factual information I absorbed in my life was gleaned from lectures the Professor gave to Gilligan. For” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“The more time I spent at the Finches', the more I realized what a waste of my life this school crap was.… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I'm not going to waste my energy looking into the eyes of someone like the guy who blew my legs off trying… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“Now I can add prostitute to my list of life's accomplishments.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Any damage that's been done, you have to fix yourself because it needs fixing and there is nobody else to do the… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“It may seem to you that your life is over now. Your future without the person you love is no future at… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“[My brother] shaped my young life. First, he taught me how to walk. Then, armed with sticks and dead snakes, he chased… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“And then just as suddenly, I felt absolutely nothing. It was like a door quickly opened, showing me what horrible feelings I… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Our lives are one endless stretch of misery punctuated by processed fast foods and the occasional crisis or amusing curiosity. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
In the same way that a tornado rips the roof off a double-wide trailer, leaving the occupants dazed and staring at the… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Decisions are beautiful. They are the evidence of thought and care. Decisions are the polishing cloths of life. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I did not consider him to be any kind of a genius. I considered him deeply lacking in the area that mattered… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“I didn't begin life hating my grandmother. Like every child, I adored her. Until I formed a brain and got to know… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Sometimes when you work in advertising you'll get a product that's really garbage and you have to make it seem fantastic, something… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Because I've lived in one room my entire life, working at the same table that you use to pay bills at and… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“Having one's mother or father or past abuser admit to their crimes or even apologize for them changes nothing--certainly not what they… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
There is nothing about myself that I wouldn't reveal or write about. I don't care how horrendous or ridiculous I may appear in person… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Like every child, I adored her. Until I formed a brain and got to know her. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“You must hang onto the scraps of the bucking moment as if your sanity and life depended on it - because actually they do.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Real optimism is not the pep talk you give yourself. It is earned through the labor involved in emotional housekeeping. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
If you hate your life, you haven't' seen enough of it. If you hate your life, it's because your life is too small and… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I think writers tend to be experience junkies, and I think they also tend to want to be on the outside looking in. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I think part of the reason I'm attracted to Foster is because he's such a mess. I mean, the people I have loved in… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“On typical days, (dust) is simply irritating. On Roid Rage days, it made me want to stomp down to the highway, pull drivers out… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I'm like the guy who prepares your taxes or a dentist. I'm very conservative and boring in a lot of ways. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“Nothing surprises me now," I tell him. I am stoic. I am Joan of Arc, with liver damage and an unused penis.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
