I don't read memoirs. But if you write a memoir, I would think you'd want people to know, "O.K., look, I've taken… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
If I were blind I'd rather have another blind person leading me around because they know what I'm dealing with and they're… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I feel like they are two different things, and when I write books, they're just books. If they can be movies that's… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I don't have a fixed routine. I write every day but I don't "write" every day, if that makes any sense. In… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Each time my mother went psychotic, I hoped it would be the last time. Afterward she would tell me, 'I think that… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I wouldn't want to waste any of my brain cells on forgiving if it's holding me back. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
People generally like happy endings, which is something I learned from my years in advertising. I like happy endings myself, but only… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I thought, I can't do advertising any more, so I was downloading all these PDF applications from community colleges. And I thought,… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
No matter what I've written, someone somewhere has come up to me and said, "Me too." The truth can be offensive, but… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Women smirk at baldness. How adorable would they find it if they began to lose their breasts in their late twenties? If… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
A lot of people can be afraid of the masking because people can misrepresent themselves [in the Internet] and they can pose… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
There is nothing about myself that I wouldn't reveal or write about. I don't care how horrendous or ridiculous I may appear in person… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Like every child, I adored her. Until I formed a brain and got to know her. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“You must hang onto the scraps of the bucking moment as if your sanity and life depended on it - because actually they do.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Real optimism is not the pep talk you give yourself. It is earned through the labor involved in emotional housekeeping. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
If you hate your life, you haven't' seen enough of it. If you hate your life, it's because your life is too small and… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I think writers tend to be experience junkies, and I think they also tend to want to be on the outside looking in. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I think part of the reason I'm attracted to Foster is because he's such a mess. I mean, the people I have loved in… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“On typical days, (dust) is simply irritating. On Roid Rage days, it made me want to stomp down to the highway, pull drivers out… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I'm like the guy who prepares your taxes or a dentist. I'm very conservative and boring in a lot of ways. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“Nothing surprises me now," I tell him. I am stoic. I am Joan of Arc, with liver damage and an unused penis.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image