My thoughts seem thick, ketchup stuck in a bottle. Like trying to feel someone's face while wearing goosedown mittens. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
In the opening to the Mary Tyler Moore Show Mary's in the supermarket, hurrying through the aisles. She pauses at the meat… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
You have an incredible body." He reaches out to touch my stomach. I feel no pleasure in his compliment or his touch,… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
My instinct was always have your gun in your hand. Especially when you are telling somebody to do something. But, in fact,… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I used to feel so alone in the city. All those gazillions of people and then me, on the outside. Because how… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I feel like they are two different things, and when I write books, they're just books. If they can be movies that's… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
When I ate vanilla frosting straight from the can, I could feel God standing right nest to me like a real best… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I missed him so much that I had physical sensations of loss, all over my body. Like one minute I was missing… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
My window fogs and this makes me feel like there is no world outside of the car. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I came to think that maybe God was what you believed in because you needed to feel you weren’t alone. Maybe God… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Acceptance, when it comes, arrives in waves: Listen with your chest. You will feel a pendulum swing within you, favoring one direction… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I was learning that if I lived slightly in the future-what will happen next-I didn't have to feel so much about what… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Childhood is what ended me up in the hospital and teetering on the edge of deathly alcoholism. It was really good for… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
So that's what I'm here to become. And suddenly, this word fills me with a brand of sadness I haven't felt since… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
But feelings, no matter how strong or “ugly,” are not a part of who you are. They are the radio stations your… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
New York City is a place where you can lock yourself up in your little studio apartment, and not go outside at… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
It was like living in a new house. I saw the undersides of tables, walked through the tangle of chair legs. It… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
No matter what I've written, someone somewhere has come up to me and said, "Me too." The truth can be offensive, but… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Maybe you feel pressure to be positive because so many people rely on your good, fake-positive energy? If that's the case, screw… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Optimism sprouts from the knowledge that you are in control of your own life, not your past and not those around you.… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
There is nothing about myself that I wouldn't reveal or write about. I don't care how horrendous or ridiculous I may appear in person… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Like every child, I adored her. Until I formed a brain and got to know her. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“You must hang onto the scraps of the bucking moment as if your sanity and life depended on it - because actually they do.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Real optimism is not the pep talk you give yourself. It is earned through the labor involved in emotional housekeeping. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
If you hate your life, you haven't' seen enough of it. If you hate your life, it's because your life is too small and… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I think writers tend to be experience junkies, and I think they also tend to want to be on the outside looking in. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I think part of the reason I'm attracted to Foster is because he's such a mess. I mean, the people I have loved in… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“On typical days, (dust) is simply irritating. On Roid Rage days, it made me want to stomp down to the highway, pull drivers out… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I'm like the guy who prepares your taxes or a dentist. I'm very conservative and boring in a lot of ways. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“Nothing surprises me now," I tell him. I am stoic. I am Joan of Arc, with liver damage and an unused penis.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
