I was in advertising for years. That was cushy, you know? It's pretty cushy in a lot of ways, but I hated… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I used to feel so alone in the city. All those gazillions of people and then me, on the outside. Because how… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Throwing things horrified me. I suffered extreme, paralyzing anxiety when it came to anything remotely athletic. I wouldn't even run to catch… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I knew that if I wrote a new book every six months or every year, if I continued to read great books,… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
(The new boyfriend) knows I write every day for hours but has no idea that all I’m writing about is me. It… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I could write another collection of personal essays from what has happened to me in the last year alone. I don't seek… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
People generally like happy endings, which is something I learned from my years in advertising. I like happy endings myself, but only… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I thought, I can't do advertising any more, so I was downloading all these PDF applications from community colleges. And I thought,… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
There is nothing about myself that I wouldn't reveal or write about. I don't care how horrendous or ridiculous I may appear in person… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Like every child, I adored her. Until I formed a brain and got to know her. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“You must hang onto the scraps of the bucking moment as if your sanity and life depended on it - because actually they do.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Real optimism is not the pep talk you give yourself. It is earned through the labor involved in emotional housekeeping. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
If you hate your life, you haven't' seen enough of it. If you hate your life, it's because your life is too small and… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I think writers tend to be experience junkies, and I think they also tend to want to be on the outside looking in. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I think part of the reason I'm attracted to Foster is because he's such a mess. I mean, the people I have loved in… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“On typical days, (dust) is simply irritating. On Roid Rage days, it made me want to stomp down to the highway, pull drivers out… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I'm like the guy who prepares your taxes or a dentist. I'm very conservative and boring in a lot of ways. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“Nothing surprises me now," I tell him. I am stoic. I am Joan of Arc, with liver damage and an unused penis.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
