I don't really think of my blog as a real blog. It's a lame blog. It's more like my when-the-mood-strikes update, or… — Augusten Burroughs Blogs Copy Share Image
All of us are richer and more fascinating and more complex than we can ever know. — Augusten Burroughs Money Copy Share Image
It turned out I had always been a smoker. I just hadn't had any cigarettes. — Augusten Burroughs Cigarette Copy Share Image
You cannot be a prisoner of your past against your will. Because you can only live in the past inside your mind. — Augusten Burroughs Mind Copy Share Image
“My worth depended on where exactly the decimal was placed among the zeroes.” — Augusten Burroughs Money Copy Share Image
“No wonder I had found that woman so offensive. Sometimes things feel that bad. Sometimes you just feel like shit.” — Augusten Burroughs Offensive Copy Share Image
“And that was one thing I didn't want: NO CASUAL SEX. I thought it was disgusting, the idea of just screwing around… — Augusten Burroughs Casual Copy Share Image
Although I was able to maintain a pleasant expression, I was mentally throwing up in her face. — Augusten Burroughs Able Copy Share Image
I sit there and think how it isn't fair that I can't drink at all, even a little. I realize I have… — Augusten Burroughs Drink Copy Share Image
“I had always had the oddest feeling, consider it knowledge, that if I were ever to find myself inside the cockpit of… — Augusten Burroughs Cockpit 767 Copy Share Image
“Although my parents never attended church or mentioned Jesus except when they screamed at each other—and then they used his full name,… — Augusten Burroughs Catholic Copy Share Image
“Think of the actual physical elements that compose our bodies: we are 98 percent hydrogen and oxygen and carbon. That’s table sugar.… — Augusten Burroughs Elements Copy Share Image
“I slipped on a turtleneck, laughing when my head became stuck in the turtle part. If they weren't called turtlenecks, I wouldn't… — Augusten Burroughs Childhood Copy Share Image
“Six hours later, when I returned, I was greeted at the door- and this before it was even opened -by the overpowering… — Augusten Burroughs Next door Copy Share Image
I never get sick of writing my own stories because there's a certain comfort in knowing you will never run out of… — Augusten Burroughs Certain Copy Share Image
I never question the way I write. Writing is the only thing that's without seams for me. It's an effort to talk… — Augusten Burroughs Alive Copy Share Image
Acceptance, when it comes, arrives in waves: Listen with your chest. You will feel a pendulum swing within you, favoring one direction… — Augusten Burroughs Acceptance Copy Share Image
“If my mother was odd enough to crave a bubble bath at three in the morning, Dorothy was inventive enough to suggest… — Augusten Burroughs Broken glass Copy Share Image
My instinct was always have your gun in your hand. Especially when you are telling somebody to do something. But, in fact,… — Augusten Burroughs Academy Copy Share Image
“Give me down. And give me the Polaroids of the fifty geese that had to die in the process.” — Augusten Burroughs Geese Copy Share Image
I think writers tend to be experience junkies, and I think they also tend to want to be on the outside looking… — Augusten Burroughs Junkie Copy Share Image
“George had been surprised by my ability to leave him. He had not seen that in me.” — Augusten Burroughs George Copy Share Image
...handsome people are always interesting to watch. But a handsome person in crisis is riveting. — Augusten Burroughs Crisis Copy Share Image
“Didn’t every new thing you did become a part of you, one of your bricks?” — Augusten Burroughs Bricks Copy Share Image
“Doctor, if being a bitch is healthy, then I am the healthiest damn woman on the face of the earth” — Augusten Burroughs Health Copy Share Image
“He sees the shit that happens around me - or because of me - so now he is only 99.99 percent certain… — Augusten Burroughs Frog Copy Share Image
“It's neat how money smells nothing like anything in the world except money, just like cardboard.” — Augusten Burroughs Cardboard Copy Share Image
“Will I end up in Hell along with the Hamburger Helping Hand, Joe Camel and Wendy, the Snapple Lady?” — Augusten Burroughs Hell Copy Share Image
I think I love him, but I also think that you can love people who aren't good for you. — Augusten Burroughs I love him Copy Share Image
“Nothing surprises me now," I tell him. I am stoic. I am Joan of Arc, with liver damage and an unused penis.” — Augusten Burroughs Humor Copy Share Image
“His eyes are so clear and blue that nothing but clichés enter my mind.” — Augusten Burroughs Alcoholism Copy Share Image
I was on the cover of a lot of newspapers. I was on the cover of USA Today for every single day… — Augusten Burroughs America Copy Share Image
I am prone to envy. It is one of my three default emotions, the others being greed and rage. I have also… — Augusten Burroughs Compassion Copy Share Image
[Christmas] holidays are a heavy, heavy time. We make light of them with our red and green and our stockings and candy… — Augusten Burroughs About family Copy Share Image
I came to think that maybe God was what you believed in because you needed to feel you weren’t alone. Maybe God… — Augusten Burroughs Feels Copy Share Image
“He likes things that make sense, and this word explains everything he knows about me. It makes perfect sense. Unless you don't… — Augusten Burroughs Delusional Copy Share Image
“Turn off the light," she says as she walks away, creating a small woosh that smells sweet and chemical. It makes me… — Augusten Burroughs Leaving Copy Share Image
“As far as I'm concerned, baldness is the male breast cancer, only much worse because almost everyone gets it. True, it's not… — Augusten Burroughs Baldness Copy Share Image
As a child, I was never drawn toward depraved or extreme situations; I really wanted a normal little childhood. Unfortunately, that's just… — Augusten Burroughs Childhood Copy Share Image
“To nobody’s surprise, steroid use is common among gay men. When you combine a love for men with a love for drama,… — Augusten Burroughs Gay men Copy Share Image
![“[Christmas] holidays are a heavy, heavy time. We make light of them with our red and green and our stockings and candy canes, but people think heavy thoughts over the holidays because that's when you're thinking about family. Are we close? Or are we not as close as other people?” quote by Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/654/augusten-burroughs-603_about-family_christmas-holidays-are-a-heavy-heavy-tim_1602525.jpg)
