When people meet me, many times they're very surprised because they expect someone who is kind of wacky with seven piercings and… — Augusten Burroughs Cities Copy Share Image
“It is astonishingly satisfying to look at him and think Closet Case, and know he can read my mind as he looks… — Augusten Burroughs Psychology Copy Share Image
I felt a bottomless sadness. So completely alone. Like one of my stuffed animals at home that I was too old for… — Augusten Burroughs Animal Copy Share Image
My attraction had been immediate and profound. And it had nothing to do with the way he looked. My attraction was to… — Augusten Burroughs Attraction Copy Share Image
I couldn't help but think, This car is taking me to a mental hospital and my mother is treating it like open-mic… — Augusten Burroughs Car Copy Share Image
“Riding back from the grocery store, I realized my father was two men—one he presented to the outside world, and one, far… — Augusten Burroughs Grocery store Copy Share Image
I'll always write about what's going on in my life and the reason for that is it's not actually because I'm so… — Augusten Burroughs Because i can Copy Share Image
I'm not going to waste my energy looking into the eyes of someone like the guy who blew my legs off trying… — Augusten Burroughs Energy Copy Share Image
Sometimes when you work in advertising you'll get a product that's really garbage and you have to make it seem fantastic, something… — Augusten Burroughs Advertising Copy Share Image
“My grandfather blasted in. "Aw now, hell, carolyn, don't go twisting the boy back up in knots all over again now that… — Augusten Burroughs Leprechauns Copy Share Image
God, I felt certain, did not mind that I didn’t press my hands together to pray. I was casual, but I was… — Augusten Burroughs Answers Copy Share Image
I loved most when his eyelashes twitched and he blinked, and suddenly happiness was there inside his eyes. Unmistakable. Like a single… — Augusten Burroughs Eye Copy Share Image
“It was a great story and I admired her. And I also felt a little envious. Because that bloody tampon had been… — Augusten Burroughs Every woman Copy Share Image
I was learning that if I lived slightly in the future-what will happen next-I didn't have to feel so much about what… — Augusten Burroughs Feels Copy Share Image
After I got my coffee, I leaned against a stop sign and sipped, pretending it was a normal day and I was… — Augusten Burroughs Coffee Copy Share Image
With my own memoirs, they are truthful, and I write everything fully expecting to some day end up televised on Court TV,… — Augusten Burroughs Challenged Copy Share Image
I'm lonely. And I'm lonely in some horribly deep way and for a flash of an instant, I can see just how… — Augusten Burroughs Lonely Copy Share Image
Throwing things horrified me. I suffered extreme, paralyzing anxiety when it came to anything remotely athletic. I wouldn't even run to catch… — Augusten Burroughs Anxiety Copy Share Image
I just look at her and she creeps me out. She looks like she would eat a baby. Not that she's fat.… — Augusten Burroughs Baby Copy Share Image
“eath, when it finally arrives, does so in a surprising fashion: it adds nothing to the room, not a light or a… — Augusten Burroughs Death Copy Share Image
Most of us have love in our lives. Most of us love other people are are ourselves loved by others. But make… — Augusten Burroughs Born Copy Share Image
“It takes two people looking in all directions at once to see everything.” — Augusten Burroughs Looking Copy Share Image
Life would be fabric-softener, tuna-salad-on-white, PTA-meeting normal. — Augusten Burroughs Fabric Copy Share Image
In some ways, blogging is like drinking - it gives a person permission to be a total asshole. — Augusten Burroughs Asshole Copy Share Image
“Despite evidence to the contrary, I hated drinking to the point that I misplaced really big slabs of time.” — Augusten Burroughs Hated Copy Share Image
Nobody's trying to kill you, Deirdre. You're killing yourself. — Augusten Burroughs Kill Copy Share Image
This is what you should know about losing someone you love. They do not travel alone. You go with them. — Augusten Burroughs Losing Copy Share Image
This is what happens when you go against the grain of truth. You get splinters later on. — Augusten Burroughs Grain Copy Share Image
I felt deeply tricked. Stunned. And furious. I also felt my default emotion: numbness. — Augusten Burroughs Default Copy Share Image
The truth is humbling, terrifying, and often exhilarating. It blows the doors off the hinges and fills the world with fresh air. — Augusten Burroughs Air Copy Share Image
“I could not imagine the kind of person that would, upon seeing a crazy talcum-powder-covered Southern lady think to herself, Hmmmm, she… — Augusten Burroughs Crazy Copy Share Image
“Unscripted, unedited, and wholly authentic people are almost universally admired, especially if they have flaws, are not afraid to make live, red-blooded… — Augusten Burroughs Admired Copy Share Image
