“And then just as suddenly, I felt absolutely nothing. It was like a door quickly opened, showing me what horrible feelings I… — Augusten Burroughs Life Copy Share Image
“I will please shut the hell up the day you please drop the hell dead” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Fact: upon locking yourself our of your apartment you will immediately need to use the bathroom. Fact: and then you will stand… — Augusten Burroughs Apartment Copy Share Image
Our lives are one endless stretch of misery punctuated by processed fast foods and the occasional crisis or amusing curiosity. — Augusten Burroughs Amusing Copy Share Image
My mother began to go crazy. Not in a 'Let's paint the kitchen red!' sort of way. But crazy in a 'gas… — Augusten Burroughs Crazy Copy Share Image
Like cubic zirconia, I only look real. I'm an imposter. The fact is, I am not like other people. — Augusten Burroughs Facts Copy Share Image
“It is always safe to see yourself truthfully. You never have to be ashamed of yourself, with yourself.” — Augusten Burroughs Inspirational Copy Share Image
But she did love him. I believe it. I know exactly how that is. To love somebody who doesn't deserve it. Because… — Augusten Burroughs Attention Copy Share Image
In the same way that a tornado rips the roof off a double-wide trailer, leaving the occupants dazed and staring at the… — Augusten Burroughs Clouds Copy Share Image
Decisions are beautiful. They are the evidence of thought and care. Decisions are the polishing cloths of life. — Augusten Burroughs Beautiful Copy Share Image
I did not consider him to be any kind of a genius. I considered him deeply lacking in the area that mattered… — Augusten Burroughs Genius Copy Share Image
The line between normal and crazy seemed impossibly thin. A person would have to be an expert tightrope walker in order not… — Augusten Burroughs Crazy Copy Share Image
I hate feelings. Why does sobriety have to come with feelings? — Augusten Burroughs Doe Copy Share Image
Stars should not be seen alone. That's why there are so many. Two people should stand together and look at them. One… — Augusten Burroughs Astronomy Copy Share Image
“I didn't begin life hating my grandmother. Like every child, I adored her. Until I formed a brain and got to know… — Augusten Burroughs Children Copy Share Image
I loved most when his eyelashes twitched and he blinked, and suddenly happiness was there inside his eyes. Unmistakable. Like a single… — Augusten Burroughs Eye Copy Share Image
To me, these people were as exotic as animals in a zoo. I'd never seen anything like them. I wasn't sure whether… — Augusten Burroughs Animal Copy Share Image
Sometimes when you work in advertising you'll get a product that's really garbage and you have to make it seem fantastic, something… — Augusten Burroughs Advertising Copy Share Image
“Meetings are the Hail Marys of alcoholics. You can do or almost do anything, feel anything, commit any number of non-sober atrocities,… — Augusten Burroughs Alcoholics anonymous Copy Share Image
“Will I end up in Hell along with the Hamburger Helping Hand, Joe Camel and Wendy, the Snapple Lady?” — Augusten Burroughs Helping hand Copy Share Image
I knew that if I wrote a new book every six months or every year, if I continued to read great books,… — Augusten Burroughs Book Copy Share Image
“Never, ever try to impress somebody. Be exactly the person you would be if you were alone or with somebody it was… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I can't tell you how much I love Target and Costco, that kind of culture, because it's something I never felt a… — Augusten Burroughs Costco Copy Share Image
The more obsessed one is with getting thin, the more certain it becomes that one will never get there. — Augusten Burroughs Certain Copy Share Image
