I was on the cover of a lot of newspapers. I was on the cover of USA Today for every single day… — Augusten Burroughs America Copy Share Image
I am prone to envy. It is one of my three default emotions, the others being greed and rage. I have also… — Augusten Burroughs Compassion Copy Share Image
[Christmas] holidays are a heavy, heavy time. We make light of them with our red and green and our stockings and candy… — Augusten Burroughs About family Copy Share Image
I came to think that maybe God was what you believed in because you needed to feel you weren’t alone. Maybe God… — Augusten Burroughs Feels Copy Share Image
“He likes things that make sense, and this word explains everything he knows about me. It makes perfect sense. Unless you don't… — Augusten Burroughs Delusional Copy Share Image
“Turn off the light," she says as she walks away, creating a small woosh that smells sweet and chemical. It makes me… — Augusten Burroughs Leaving Copy Share Image
“As far as I'm concerned, baldness is the male breast cancer, only much worse because almost everyone gets it. True, it's not… — Augusten Burroughs Baldness Copy Share Image
As a child, I was never drawn toward depraved or extreme situations; I really wanted a normal little childhood. Unfortunately, that's just… — Augusten Burroughs Childhood Copy Share Image
“To nobody’s surprise, steroid use is common among gay men. When you combine a love for men with a love for drama,… — Augusten Burroughs Gay men Copy Share Image
“we were particles that came together to form into star after star after star until almost forever passed, and instead of a… — Augusten Burroughs Astronomy Copy Share Image
“One thing was certain: I would be in their Tang commercial. And if any of the other children tried to get in… — Augusten Burroughs Children Copy Share Image
“On typical days, (dust) is simply irritating. On Roid Rage days, it made me want to stomp down to the highway, pull… — Augusten Burroughs Anger Copy Share Image
All children should be loved, protected, nurtured --emotionally and intellectually-- respected, and never, under any circumstances, underestimated. — Augusten Burroughs Child Copy Share Image
(The new boyfriend) knows I write every day for hours but has no idea that all I’m writing about is me. It… — Augusten Burroughs Alcoholics Copy Share Image
I love you," she said, and I knew she meant it because she spoke the words from the heart at the center… — Augusten Burroughs Behinds Copy Share Image
You are allowed to be alive. You are allowed to be somebody different. You are allowed to not say goodbye to anybody… — Augusten Burroughs Alive Copy Share Image
You can make almost anything a learning or positive experience. I think I offer a good example of how to make the… — Augusten Burroughs Example Copy Share Image
“Oh, I had a great time. My thirty-three-year-old boyfriend said he wished they could package my cum like ice cream so he… — Augusten Burroughs Boyfriend Copy Share Image
Not crazy in a 'let's paint the kitchen bright red!' sort of way. But crazy in a 'gas oven, toothpaste sandwich, I… — Augusten Burroughs Candle Copy Share Image
“Fairness is not among the laws of the universe. This means, if someone runs over your foot in a car and they… — Augusten Burroughs Fairness Copy Share Image
My parents had this relationship that was really terrifying. I mean, the level of hatred that they had, and the level of… — Augusten Burroughs Abuse Copy Share Image
“The more time I spent at the Finches', the more I realized what a waste of my life this school crap was.… — Augusten Burroughs Expression Copy Share Image
“Hope and God were buddies. Theirs was not a formal relationship steeped in ritual and tradition. It was more of a close… — Augusten Burroughs Friendship Copy Share Image
The past does not haunt us. We haunt the past. We allow our minds to focus in that direction. We open memories… — Augusten Burroughs Details Copy Share Image
You have an incredible body." He reaches out to touch my stomach. I feel no pleasure in his compliment or his touch,… — Augusten Burroughs Body Copy Share Image
I think that the Internet is our most profound and beautiful achievement. It is magnificent. We have the Internet as a layer… — Augusten Burroughs Achievement Copy Share Image
What I think of blogs is just this: Some are beautifully written and many are not. But even blogs that aren't necessarily… — Augusten Burroughs Blogs Copy Share Image
But she did love him. I believe it. I know exactly how that is. To love somebody who doesn't deserve it. Because… — Augusten Burroughs Attention Copy Share Image
“I could see jabs from his flashlight cutting into the woods on either side of me. He was back there, somewhere. The… — Augusten Burroughs Flashlight Copy Share Image
I don't read memoirs. But if you write a memoir, I would think you'd want people to know, "O.K., look, I've taken… — Augusten Burroughs Books Copy Share Image
“You're at the crack addict's apartment? Having a little sandwich?" he says. From the tone of his voice, you'd think I just… — Augusten Burroughs Crack Copy Share Image
If I were a serial killer, I would not be the kind that stabs and then eats the victim. I would be… — Augusten Burroughs Class Copy Share Image
“Where there is willpower there is a Band Aid that's eventually going to fall off. You only need willpower to get what… — Augusten Burroughs Band aid Copy Share Image
Should I just sit down, right here at carousel seven, and shake until somebody's arms are around me and they're saying, 'It's… — Augusten Burroughs Arms Copy Share Image
I've just finished my next collection, Possible Side Effects, and I'm now working on a collection of holiday stories as well as… — Augusten Burroughs Collections Copy Share Image
Fact: upon locking yourself our of your apartment you will immediately need to use the bathroom. Fact: and then you will stand… — Augusten Burroughs Apartment Copy Share Image
The most I would do was use the shadow tool in Photoshop to bring out the muscular rips in my stomach, which… — Augusten Burroughs Fats Copy Share Image
As a writer, you can't allow yourself the luxury of being discouraged and giving up when you are rejected, either by agents… — Augusten Burroughs Agents Copy Share Image
“I realized I could do anything to him and he would never hate me. I could never drive him away, spoil things… — Augusten Burroughs Loved Copy Share Image
“My mother is from Cairo, Georgia. This makes everything she says sound like it went through a curling iron. Other people sound… — Augusten Burroughs Creative Copy Share Image
![“[Christmas] holidays are a heavy, heavy time. We make light of them with our red and green and our stockings and candy canes, but people think heavy thoughts over the holidays because that's when you're thinking about family. Are we close? Or are we not as close as other people?” quote by Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/654/augusten-burroughs-603_about-family_christmas-holidays-are-a-heavy-heavy-tim_1602525.jpg)
