“He sees the shit that happens around me - or because of me - so now he is only 99.99 percent certain… — Augusten Burroughs Frog Copy Share Image
If I were a serial killer, I would not be the kind that stabs and then eats the victim. I would be… — Augusten Burroughs Class Copy Share Image
If I were blind I'd rather have another blind person leading me around because they know what I'm dealing with and they're… — Augusten Burroughs Blind Copy Share Image
“We tried to everything right, now we were forced to do everything wrong and it was working.” — Augusten Burroughs Right now Copy Share Image
What I think of blogs is just this: Some are beautifully written and many are not. But even blogs that aren't necessarily… — Augusten Burroughs Blogs Copy Share Image
I used to feel so alone in the city. All those gazillions of people and then me, on the outside. Because how… — Augusten Burroughs Cities Copy Share Image
“All a rainbow is is light that walks behind a raindrop and its colors fall out.” — Augusten Burroughs Rainbows Copy Share Image
“What little factual information I absorbed in my life was gleaned from lectures the Professor gave to Gilligan. For” — Augusten Burroughs Life Copy Share Image
“Shame is the landfill emotion. It's not organic, like joy. It was dumped there by somebody else.” — Augusten Burroughs Shame Copy Share Image
“When I was ten years old, I realized I'd been kidnapped as a toddler. Of course, I would have to have been… — Augusten Burroughs Children Copy Share Image
“Parents who have lost a child should be told that they will never heal from their loss. They will always have a… — Augusten Burroughs Children Copy Share Image
Imperfections are attractive when their owners are happy with them. — Augusten Burroughs Attractive Copy Share Image
I knew that he was as reliable as a mathematical formula. — Augusten Burroughs Formulas Copy Share Image
“To nobody’s surprise, steroid use is common among gay men. When you combine a love for men with a love for drama,… — Augusten Burroughs Gay men Copy Share Image
“The more time I spent at the Finches', the more I realized what a waste of my life this school crap was.… — Augusten Burroughs Expression Copy Share Image
I feel like they are two different things, and when I write books, they're just books. If they can be movies that's… — Augusten Burroughs Book Copy Share Image
It terrified me to consider: What if, as a grown-up, I craved another body beside me as still as this one? What… — Augusten Burroughs Body Copy Share Image
I don't have a fixed routine. I write every day but I don't "write" every day, if that makes any sense. In… — Augusten Burroughs Email Copy Share Image
All of us are richer and more fascinating and more complex than we can ever know. — Augusten Burroughs Money Copy Share Image
“Because all of us are made not only of what we have but what we lost. And loss is not a subtraction.… — Augusten Burroughs Loss Copy Share Image
Love is a helium-based emotion; Love always takes the high road. — Augusten Burroughs Emotion Copy Share Image
While I liked hamsters, too, the Habitrail cage was expensive. Even I could see that the interconnecting boxes, tubes, and spheres could… — Augusten Burroughs Addiction Copy Share Image
“Riding back from the grocery store, I realized my father was two men—one he presented to the outside world, and one, far… — Augusten Burroughs Grocery store Copy Share Image
